*Deer carries Ariana*
Ariana: Put me down you stupid walking robot meat! Gah!
*Deer throws Ariana on the stage*
Ariana: *erhem* Welcome to the stupid fucking Aftermath show. I don't wanna be here right now!
*Kim Kardashian falls from the sky*
Kim: *stands up* I'm okay! I'm okay! ... Ugh, can't believe they dragged us back onto this show.
*Music plays*
Kim: Little twerps, little twerps
Everywhere I turn I can see them
*Looks at the animals in the audience*
... Ugh
Little twerps, little twerps
Night and day I eat, sleep, and breathe them
*Skunk comes on stage*
Get out of here!
*Skunk runs away*
I should be anywhere but here
Private planes, on the stage or on TV
But I find myself here at the snot house
Little hoes, little thots
Please kill me, I'm serious
Please kill me, I'm not singing, I'm asking
Locked in a cage with all the rats
I've slipped through the cracks
And now I'm stuck with the scraps and I can't
Seem to find my way back
Get me out, get me out of here
Ariana: I'll get around
Kim: I'm ready for stardom after all these years
I'm done with little twerps
I wanna be someone in this world!
Little twerps, little twerps
Everywhere I turn I can see them
*Looks at the animals in the audience*
... Ugh
Little twerps, little twerps
Night and day I eat, sleep and breathe them
*Panda comes on stage*
Get out of here!
*Panda runs away*
Yes, I wanna tear my hair out
I should be famous and part of history
But I find myself here at the snot house
Little hoes, little thots
Please kill me, I'm serious
Please kill me, I'm not singing, I'm asking
Locked in a cage with all the rats
I've slipped through the cracks
And now I'm stuck with the scraps and I can't
Seem to find my way back
Oh get me out, get me out of here
Ariana: Or throw me a rope
Kim: I'm ready for stardom after all these years
I'm done with little twerps
I wanna be someone in this world
Little twerps, little twerps
*Looks at the animals in the audience*
... Ugh
*Music stops*
Ariana: We're way too good for this shit! And we're not even getting paid! I can't believe we were taken from our new show, this bites!
Kim: You're telling me, ugh. I know. We might as well just make this as painless as possible as my lawyers work on this.
Ariana: Ugh, fine! But only because you're my co-host! No stupid Corrie or Iris to step on my toes!
Kim: Right on, star in the making! Welcome to Total Drama Fantasy's sixth Aftermath instalment! I'm Kim and that's Ariana!
Ariana: Um, they should already know who we are! But whatever! Despite this show ridiculing us, ruining our reputations and almost killing us ...
Kim: We were brought back to host this giant waste of time! Ya know, obviously, since we're the only ones capable of providing such vicious commentary.
Ariana: We also have no peanut gallery with us. Instead, our audience is full of robotic animals who look like they want to eat us. Yay!
Duck: I personally don't enjoy the taste of whiny humans.
Kim: Anyway, we're situated on the back half of elimination station. We should be clear out of sight from whoever's banished, but who knows.
Ariana: The only people who will be joining us are the eliminated contestants, but we'll have some special appearances lined up. I don't really care.
Kim: We should probably get rolling, as we have a lot to get to today. Shall we, Miss Ariana?
Ariana: Fine! But only because you called me Miss Ariana! You know how to stroke my ego, hehe!
*Ariana and Kim sit down*
Kim: This All Star season has started off slow in the drama department, but that's not to say there's a lack of excitement. There's plenty to talk about!
Ariana: After their first challenge proved to be a twist, the expectations were set for a season full of mistrust and deceitful intentions.
Kim: Since the truth of the island was exposed last season, Jeffrey and Michelle are not holding back on using it to it's full potential this time around.
Ariana: However it's been shown time and time again that mastermind Rupaul is the one who's truly behind the island's mechanical outbursts.
Kim: Four episodes in, we have a new friendship established, an old alliance revisited, and countless relationships crumbling at the seams.
Ariana: That segways into our first two guest pretty well I'd say! After a cat and mouse chase led these two to lose sight of what was actually going on...
Kim: They were voted off together in a shocking double elimination! We present to you our first two victims ... Logan and Elise!
*Logan and Elise enter and sit*
Ariana: How are people clapping?! There's no one here!
Kim: Ugh, they probably just played a clapping track over the speakers.
*Laughter out of nowhere*
Kim: See, that wasn't even funny.
Logan: Yo so like ... Are we gonna get this started or what, heh.
Ariana: Yeah yeah, cool your jets! You two are probably the least legendary and most useless contestants, so for everyone's sake, let's get this over with.
Elise: Least legendary?! Oh I'll show you what that looks like you little dramabag!
Ariana: Oh my God, thank you! Dramabag is my alter ego, you must have saw it on my new talk show with Kimmie over here! Hehe!
Elise: What?! No! I -- Whatevah! Just ask these damn questions already!
Kim: I'll start. Do you two think you focused on each other too much as opposed to the game? It's as if you didn't take All Star status seriously enough.
Elise: What are you talkin' about mawma?! I never focused on tricky Logey over here! He was the one droolin' over me this time around!
Logan: Heh, and I definitely regret it now ...
Ariana: So what do you idiots think went wrong then? First boot is a major yikes! I would know!
Kim: So proud of my little star for accepting her humiliating first boot and no longer hiding from it. Takes a true hero *sniff*
Logan: Well, I doubt the constant arguing helped, but I do feel as if having a sibling in the game didn't help me out, heh. Prob viewed us as a package deal.
Elise: I just think them girls be dumb in the noggin'! I am a fierce competitor! I wouldn't be surprised to see them lose out until merge now!
Ariana: Tsk tsk tsk. Unwilling to accept what your true problems were; each other! Had you not been totally distracted, maybe you could have actually made some connections with the older cast!
Kim: But I do give you props, Elise. Flirting with his younger brother to torment him? Such a diva move and I adored it, hehe!
Logan: Wait, huh? You actually were flirting with Sean to get under my skin? ... Bruh ...
Elise: You needed to be taught a lesson boo! I was ovah all the mixed signals! Now I'mma new woman!
Ariana: Because of your short stint there's not much else to go over. So tell us, who are you rooting for moving forward in this game?
Logan: Well I was a little bothered 'cause I thought Sean was tryna be a little turd bag, but now that I know it wasn't his fault, obvi my little bro, heh.
Elise: I personally don't give a shit! They all can lick my coochie! It should be me out there still, I got fucked over by this muffin head!
Logan: Yo, don't diss muffins like that, they're fuckin' fire, heh. Love me some blueberry muffins.
Kim: Okay, this is getting off track. We don't have time for that. Thanks for ... An interesting interview. You can move over to the side couch, if you can get there without killing one another.
*Logan and Elise go to the peanut gallery*
Logan: Dope, heh, some cheering from nonexistent people!
