Between The Me and The I

As the dawn rides into the early morning, I find myself falling into a love that isn't the same as everyone else. My lovers were always unconventional: A stuffed animal, a crystal, a spirit...Forever searching, I wanted more! Love is a perplexing thing. I dive into the deep end, and fall on my face..heartbroken.

It hurts, scarring my body with my heart bleeding out of its veins. All I want is love, a lovefool I am. I truly couldn't see how drained I am, blinded by my heart's desires. My heart, A dark sanctuary of where love could lie. As I searched with a limping heart,I cruelly found myself neglecting the one lover I couldn't have truly known was there: Myself.

Yes...This is a romance that I needed: One between me and only me! When I searched deep within myself, all I could find was a clone of where my own self lies. But is this me, or just a different version of me? No Matter, I love who I can.

As I fell deeper into the abyss of my fantasies, I kept seeing my clone appear in and out of my consciousness. The love was there–a romance beyond what I usually sought out.

This curse of searching for romance has ruined the me that I loved. As I saw my clone in my mind's eye, I decided with my own heart to love and cherish myself..ourselves? Our self? No matter the logistics of who or how I love this being within me..I shall love with all my heart.

As my clone rose out of the dust of anger, they softened their stance, head looking up to me with soft eyes. I took a few steps closer to my clone, as my clone collapsed in relief at my choosing to love them.

This isn't what I was led to believe all my life–I was raised with the idea of a spouse, some kids, a dog, and a nice big house. I was raised thinking that that was the only way I had to live..but as I got older, my interests of love were always..peculiar. I thought I had to find someone, but I now realize that it was always me I was trying to find!

In my mind's eye, I carried my clone to a nice sanctuary of pink pillars and a running waterfall. The sound of the rushing waves of the water soothed us both. Viewing our love as sacred, I took my clone deep into the pond nearby the waterfall and bathed us both, purifying us of our negative emotions and leaving us much calmer than before.

I never knew that I could love myself..but here I am, loving my clone, a representation of my inner self.

A kiss on the forehead, a loving caress of the hand, I gave those loving gestures to my clone with a certain knowing that...I am The One I've been looking for all along.