the grass isn't always greener

The Jump (0)

Three steps. That's all I needed and I'm free.

Free from my parents constantly controlling my future, free from my brothers pulling my hair, free from the ever changing life I've been stuck in for almost eighteen years now. All I've wanted was stability. Stability to know my life is going to play out like a piano sonnet that's been practiced for three years, so I would say pretty stable. But my life has never been like that.

Changing houses and moving towns every few months was normal now. Changing personalities and appearance was too. It was all normal. But our family was nothing but normal.

I may have always lived life as a Sanderson, but that's all I've ever been. No matter the hair colour, no matter the new first name, no matter anything, I've always been a Sanderson.

Sweet, seven year old, red headed Danielle Sanderson. Harsh exterior, harsh interior, nine year old Violet Sanderson. Bright, volleyball scholarship, thirteen year old Rachel Sanderson-Marx. Angsty, pierced and bright blue haired seventeen year old Annabella Sanderson. They are all me, and I am all them.

It sounds odd, I know, but that's my life. But now it could drastically change my life depending on these three steps. Only three steps and I'm out of here for life.

I've dreamt of this day for years, ever since the wall was built, when I was just a one year old baby and could only speak gibberish. I didn't even understand why the wall was being built.

"Its because we have all learnt how unsafe the poorer people are baby, but you will learn that one day." My mother would tell me this every time I asked. I knew what it was for, but why? Why were we scared of people who lived in normal houses and not castles? Why were we scared that they would take something that would easily be bought again when we have done the same? Why?

As a five year old, the concept of money didn't exactly click in my head, but then again, nothing really did. Kids struggling with things was normal, but when you had never gone to school and was always either hiding or running, it was pretty hard to learn anything other than how to flutter your eyelashes just enough to get free things to survive. That's the perks of being young, anyone believes a cute little kid with big tear-filled eyes.

Maybe that's why my parents decided to have seven kids, so there was always someone to bring in the cash when one got a little bit too old. Or even better, two at a time to get double the money. That used to be Me and Benni. Me and Kieren. Me and Jacob. Me and Nick. No matter his name, he was always my twin brother, or by his family title, lovingly given by our parents, B2. Now its Bridgette and Layla. G6 and G7.

I'm G1. That stands for "Girl 1", the first child who happens to be a girl. That's why my twin brother, who my parents deemed "less important" because he was born without part of his left arm, was called B2, or "Boy 2", the second child who happens to be a boy. And that's what my parents have always done with every child, and it says so on our birth certificate. G1, B2, B3, G4, B5, G6 and G7, all children of Igor and Florence Sanderson, or whatever they change their name to every few weeks.

Being their first child, you would think I knew all their new names, but the only thing that's been on my mind for years was that wall. The separation from living on the run and living peacefully for the first time in my life.

Just taking one step sent butterflies into my stomach. It made my eyes sting with tears for what I was leaving behind. But it was all for the best, and that's all I ever wanted for myself. For my sadly named siblings. For anyone. It was for the best.

The only way I could do this was to close my eyes and leap. Metaphorically and literally. My feet wouldn't move another step, so the only thing I have to do is to jump. Just jump. As simple as that. A small jump to change my life and everyone else's forever. Well, it was a pretty large jump, but there was water at the bottom so I'll be alright, won't I?

I'll take my chances and take my leap.

And I did, right into the moat on the other side of the wall.

I was free.