why her?

part four

it had been a week and i continued seeing matt text that girl. i've seen them call eachother pet names so i'm assuming they're dating now. it hurts so bad seeing the guy that i'm in love with be in love with someone else.
i was in nicks room alone when i heard a soft knock on the door.
"come in" i yelled just loud enough so that whoever was on the other side of the door could hear me. i look up and see matt walk in the door.
"hey anna" he says, smiling at me. i immediately notice somethings up.
"hey matt.. is everything okay?" i ask, looking at him with a concerned look on my face.
"yeah, i just need to talk to you about something" he says, sitting on the edge of the bed facing me. he was playing with the rings on his fingers. i placed my hand on top of his for comfort.
"okay.. go ahead" i said, smiling at him and moving my hand back to my lap.
"well.. i have a girlfriend. and she's coming over today." he says, not looking up from the bed. of course i already knew this, or at least assumed it, but it still stung having him confirm it.
"okay.. i'm happy for you matt." i said, hiding how upset i really was.
"thank you anna" he said, looking up at me and smiling.
"of course." i said, smiling back. he got up and walked out of the room. tears formed in my eyes but i wiped them away. i'm happy for him. right? whatever makes him happy makes me happy.. but it's hard. i do really love him. and that's why i'm not gonna get between him and this girl.
my thoughts get interrupted by nick busting in and seeing me. he could tell very fast that something was up, so he shut and locked the door behind him and jumped on the bed across from me sitting criss cross.
"what's wrong belle?" he asks me, looking into my eyes trying to read my expression.
"nothing.." i said, very clearly lying.
"oh come on, i know you better than that. what's on your mind?" he said, not breaking the eye contact.
"well.. matt has a girlfriend and it sucks because i'm kind of, well, in love with him in a way? and i just don't know what to do because i'm so happy for him but it hurts seeing him with someone else." i spit out, talking fast.
"oh, belle.. i'm so sorry. he's dumb for not seeing how much you like him." nick says, trying to reassure me but it doesn't exactly work. i just nod in silence and look down at the bed. nick pulls me into a tight hug, and i hug him back almost immediately. it was short but sweet, and he quickly got up and left the room after. he knew i wanted to be alone. that's one thing i love about nick, he can always tell when i'm upset and how to solve it. he knows what i need and when i need it, i don't know what i'd do if he weren't my bestfriend. i calm myself down and take deep breaths before leaving nicks room and going to the kitchen. luckily it's empty so i walk and get a glass of water, before i hear and see chris walk into the kitchen.
"hey belle" he says, sitting on a chair at the island and pulling out his phone.
"hi chrissy" i say, ruffling his hair and sitting next to him.
"whatcha doing today?" he asks, not looking up from his phone.
"sitting back and watching matt and his girlfriend hang out, you?" i ask, sighing before i spoke.
"unfortunately, same." he says, laughing a little bit.
"welll, i do need some clothes so i can stop using yalls, do you wanna walk to my house with me? my dads out i saw it on his facebook, we have a couple hours until he's back." i asked.
"sounds like a plan to me" he says smiling at me, when we hear a knock on the door.
"i'll get it!" matt says from upstairs, running down and opening the door. he smiles and pulls the girl into a hug. it was his girlfriend. i smile at the both of them, hiding how upset i really was.
"belle this is emily, emily this is annabelle. you've already met chris and nick." matt introduces us.
belle. he never calls me belle. he calls me anna. in fact he's the only one that calls me anna.
i try to ignore it. i smile at her and she gives me a fake smile back. i can already tell she doesn't like me. when i look at matt and she notices, she gets all touchy with him to piss me off. and hell, it was working. but i didn't show it of course.
"well.. me and chris were just about to leave. catch y'all later." i said abruptly, before standing up and putting on my jacket.
"where are you going?" matt asks.
"my house. i'm getting clothes because i don't wanna have to use yalls all the time." i said, grabbing my phone and putting it in my pocket.
"what? is your dad there? do you need me to come with?" he asks concerned.
"no matt, he's out. thanks tho." i say, walking out of the door before he can respond. chris looks at matt and shrugs before walking after me and closing the door behind him. we begin walking in a comfortable silence, which is soon broken by chris' voice.
"belle?" he asks, looking over at me.
"yeah?" i reply, looking back at him.
"i'm sorry. about matt and everything. i noticed him call you belle, and i think it was uncalled for." he said, looking back down at the ground.
"oh.. yeah. it's ok i guess." i said, also looking back at the ground.
"it's really not.. if i could knock some sense into him i would. i know you like him belle, i see the way you look at him. and you don't have to li-" i cut him off.
"i do like him chris. a lot. i'm not gonna lie to you." i say, not letting my gaze leave the floor. he just nods and we continue walking in a comfortable silence. after a while we make it to my house, and walk in. it's quiet. i start to get nervous, memories flooding back. i try my best to ignore it and walk upstairs, and towards my room. i gather up some clothes in a backpack, and once i have everything i decide to put on some makeup, which i was also bringing to the triplets house. i freeze and my breathing stops when i hear the front door open. i grab chris quickly and pull him into my closet, closing the door behind us. i shush him and we stand still. i hear light footsteps approaching my room. i hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. before i know it, the closet door swings open. i open my eyes only to see someone i had least expected to see.
my eyes met matt's, standing in front of my closet.
"matt what the fuck?! you scared the shit out of me! what are you doing here?" i yell, getting out of my closet.
"i was just concerned that your dad would come back and wanted to be here to be sure" he defends. i look behind him, only to see no emily. he must have noticed the confused look on my face, because he spoke up.
"emily left, she had something come up." he said quietly.
"oh, so that's the real reason you came. because your girlfriend ditched you and you were bored. got it." i said, pushing past him and grabbing my backpack. i walked out of my room before anyone could say anything. i heard them quietly talking in my room. i think they expected me to wait for them, but i just walked out of the house.
i jogged a little bit so i could be out of sight from the triplets, and walked the rest of the way. it was kinda peaceful walking alone. the silence was nice, and there was a cool breeze. eventually i made it to the triplets house, and went straight to nicks room. i shut the door and locked it, nick immediately noticing something happened again. i groaned and flopped down on his bed.
"what now" he said jokingly.
"3.. 2... 1.." i said, before hearing the front door swing open.
"ANNABELLE!" i hear chris yell. i stay quiet.
"what. did. you. do?!" nick asks, looking at me.
"basically me and chris went to my house to get clothes bc my dad wasn't there and matt showed up saying he was worried but really he showed up because his girlfriend ditched him and i got mad and walked out and walked back here without them and they're probably mad because i left without them" i said all in one breath.
"oh my god belle, you're crazy. but why the fuck would matt do that" he says, standing up and walking out of the door. i shrug and pull out my phone. it reads 8:52pm. i wasn't tired at all. i hear the bedroom door barge open.
"belle! you scared me don't leave like that" chris says, walking up to me.
"sorry chris" i say, sitting up on the bed. he sits next to me.
"i'm sorry about matt. but he really was there because he was worried, not because of emily." chris says.
"yeah whatever" i say, standing up and taking my shoes off. he leaves the room, knowing i wanna be alone. i change into some pajama pants and one of nicks sweaters, and lay in his bed. i hear the door open and assume it's nick, but when i look up i see matt standing by the doorway.
"can i come in?" he asks.
"no." i say, laying back down and facing away from the door. he sighs and comes in anyways, closing the door behind him and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"anna, i-" he starts but i cut him off.
"oh so now i'm anna. because i recall being belle in front of you're girlfriend." i say, it sounding more pissed than i thought it would.
"i'm sorry annabelle. i really am, emily gets jealous and i knew she would start something over the nickname. you will always be anna to me." he says, not letting his eyes leave mine. i roll my eyes and turn on my side once again, before i feel matt's hand on my hip, turning me on my back again.
"and i promise, that when i came to your dads it wasn't because of emily leaving, and you should know that. i didn't want you going over there without me being there, i just needed to know you were safe is all." he says, looking at me with a soft look in his eyes. i sit up and look at him. i can't stay mad at him, so i pull him into a hug.
"it's ok matt. i understand." i say into his shoulder. he nods and hugs me back tightly. once we pull away he speaks up again.
"anna?" he says.
"yeah?" i say, looking at him.
"what happened to us?" he says out of the blue.
"what do you mean?" i ask.
"well, we used to be super close. like we did everything together. we told eachother everything. we can't even brush our hands by each others without it causing unnecessary tension in the air." he says, looking down at the blanket and fiddling with his fingers. i start to feel bad. if this little crush on him didn't form, we would still be as close as we were before. i let me feelings get in between our friendship.
"i'm sorry matt. it's my fault." i say, which causes him to shoot his head up to look at me.
"what? no it's not anna!" he says.
"i just.. have a lot to figure out right now. and i'm sorry that it's causing distance between us." i say, tears starting to form in my eyes.
"you have nothing to be sorry for anna, i mean it." he says looking at me, which causes the first tear to fall down my cheek. he wastes no time to wipe it away with his thumb.
why does he care so much? i haven't given him a reason to. i've been such a shitty friend lately. we share another comfortable silence before i speak up.
"how can we.. go back to the way we were before? i mean before we cuddled, flirted of course in a friendly way, but if emily is the jealous type how are we supposed to be like that anymore? i don't wanna ruin yalls relationship." i question, looking down at my hands which were placed in my lap.
"you're not gonna ruin anything anna. if we've been the way we are since before i even met emily, she has no right to say anything." he assures me. i smile at him.
"well in that case, get over here lover boy" i say, snickering and pulling him in by his waist. he giggles and lays next to me, putting my head on his chest and wraps his arms around me. i wrap my arms around him. he plays with my hair and a sense of comfort washes over my body. god, have i missed this.

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