BL oneshot

I Fell In Love With A Man

(⚠️REMINDER NOT MINE⚠️)

I am Kyle and I fell in love with my best friend.

Though I am a man, I did know that  I was able to develop any intimate feelings with another man. I grew up in a society where such things were not appropriate and not easy to accept. But as I was growing up,  I was influenced with the things that I had been watching on social media like 'two boys kissing, two male having relationship, etc.' And I was like, 'What? So things like these exist!' So I started questioning myself. "What if I become one like them? What if I will be in loved with another man? Can I do it? Can this bring me a different kind of feeling? Emotion?" Until I discovered myself as bisexual and started to have a crush on my male classmate.

It all started when I became as a freshman in college. New learnings, new discoveries and it will be a whole new experience. One day when our teacher gave us a 'by-pair' project, I met Joshua who happened to be my partner. If I were to elaborate his looks, I would say that he is handsome with those dazzling brown eyes, cute elongated nose and pinkish lips. Altogether with his height, fair skin complexion, and slim body, it makes him a perfect man for a woman.

We became close to each other, resulted into a deep friendship.  At first, I did not have any feelings towards him but as we spent our days laughing together, eating out in a fancy restaurant, etc., there it is; I had finally developed an affection. Joshua was actually kind to me and he was also a sweet man. But I kept the secret that I have feelings for him. I don't know why. Maybe because I was afraid to lose him if I confessed my feelings to him.

Then the last day of our first year college ended. Joshua and I, together with our friends and classmates went to a party to celebrate. We were all dancing, shouting, singing, moving around and drinking beer and wine like there's no tomorrow. And with all the things we did,  I got intoxicated and eventually got drunk. I did not know what we were doing that time. We were just busy having fun. After a while, we decided to call it a day. We all went home. But I was not totally drunk. I was still aware with the things that's going on around me.

And I remember Joshua carrying me on his back until we got home in my apartment. He washed my face and changed my clothes. Then he put me to sleep on the bed. When he was about to leave, I remember grabbing his arm and begging him to stay with me. And he said okay. He slept with me that night.

My feelings were unstable that night and I don't know why I suddenly kissed him on his cheeks saying "Joshua, though you are my best friend, I'm so sorry for having feelings for you"

I turned around to not face him then I burst out a tear. But moments later, he fixed my position and he got on my top. He smiled to me then kissed my untouched lips. That was my very first kiss. I knew that time that what we were doing was wrong but I did not resist him because I liked it. That night, we had an intimate intercourse.

When I woke up, I saw him sleeping calmly beside me. We were both naked.

After preparing for breakfast, we ate together with no single utterance of word. Afterwards, he suggested if we can have a serious talk.

When we were both having conversation, I did not know how to react to his words. He confessed that he also have feelings for me. And what we did last night last was just his affection towards me. Starting from that moment, we decided to give it a try and we dated.

We were still together until our last years in college. Same feelings, same emotions. He was still treating me nicely but as the days goes by, the sweet moments we had turned into bland moments that tastes like nothing, and the eager conversations we made turned into a cold interactions. I noticed that he rarely get home early, always looking at his phone, always answering a call, and rejecting my kisses when I try to caress him. But he was not mad at me. I wonder why.