Byler

deel 1

Mike

I don't know how I feel about El anymore, I mean I love how she is. She is pretty and nice but I have different, weird feelings... it's about Will and I don't feel comfortable talking about this, but it also gives me so much serotonin. Last time I saw him he smiled at me because I fell and hold myself up to him. It was a big smile, it looked genuine and his perfectly white teeth made it the perfect smile. His round cheeks came to their right and I've had these forbidden thoughts... about... taking his hand, strangling his thin fingers into mine and getting closer to him, physically. And other stuff but I can't say, it's not allowed. But I need to hurry now. We made plans to go to his house and watch a movie Jonathan suggested for us to watch. He's been smiling at me and being super nice to me like I'm his brother too or something. It's not bad, I just noticed. I'm riding my bike really fast because I can't wait to see Will! That tree on my left looks so green and the fire smoke smell that's burning in my nose smells so good and cozy. It's so warm, even when it's -4 degrees outside. I feel more positive since I have this thing with Will going on in my head. Everything feels more real and pure. I'm happier. Or I'm going crazy. That reminds me of the first time a long time ago I've had this feeling when I was with Will. That was the last time I had that feeling before since a month ago. That was when Will got possessed by the mind flayer and he said he felt like he was crazy and I said, that was so sweet of me, "then we go crazy together right!". I've arrived at Wills. I'm scared because I don't know what my feelings will do to me next. But I knock, because now it's freezing. "Mike!" says Will with his high pitchy voice from behind the door. He opens it. It's so adorable when he's enthousiast. "Hey Will.". Shit why so unbottered Mike? So stupid. "I'm glad to see you Will.". "Yes me too! Come in it's cold outside." says Will. I'm blushing already, maybe he thinks it's because of the cold, I hope. I step inside. "Wait." He says. He gets his hands in my hair and pets through it. Ow. He's taking the snow out of it. I kinda wished he would just rub his hands through my hair with the only reason that... that... he likes my hair. But there would be nothing wrong with that right? Friends can like each others appearance. Right? Because I do like his appearance, a lot. I like his wavy eyebrows. As he's looking at my hair searching for more snow I reach out with my shaky hand and touch his left eyebrow. It's so soft and perfectly brown and- OW MIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING! He smiles? It's an awkward smile. But I don't think he's awkward because I touched his eyebrow. He seemes very comfortable with that. Ow no he doesn't know what to say, aww. "I love that.". I said it out loud. No way back now, I've got to tell him now how I've felt about him. "Thanks, I like your eyebrows to!" he says with joy. I'm releaved. He spits the words out, "Actually I like all of how you look." My heart. Why are you going so fast. I'm breathing hysterical. I need to slow down, I- he interrupts my thoughts. "Mike, are you okey? Do you need water or to sit down or something? I nod. He looks around and surches for a chair but the one standing next to the door is used for a pottery project from Jonathan for school. In the sofa lays Joyce, sleeping. "Come to my room.". He takes my arm and swings it around his shoulder. My hand takes he into his. He's warm, really warm. Not just because I was just outside, I'm shaking still and the room comes closer and my heart is now pounding out of my chest. It's burning. "I need to sit down." I say slow. "Now.". We arrived at his room. He opens the door and walks my to his bed. "Lay down Mike." he says worried. I do as he says. I'm so ashamed of myself, stupid! Stupid! Stupid. I close my eyes and fall immediately asleep I think.

Will

"He will be just fine mom. It's probably because he went from being cold outside to warm inside to fast." I screame in her direction. "If you say so willy." I hate it when she calls me that, especially when people are around. Especially when Mike is around. Good thing he's asleep now. I close the door and walk to my bed. I sit, really close to him. He looks so peacefull. So pretty! I wished I looked like that. I want his perfectly shaped nose that looks like some kind from another country far away from here. I want his curly charcoal colored hair. No I want HIS hair, from him and then would he and his hair and every perfect bit of his body be mine and I would be his. With him. I really like him. It's not that he's the first person I've ever liked in a way that it would be not special if we were together and thats it's guaranteed to fail. I've known him my whole life and I love him with everything I have. He is so adorable! I'm still looking at him as he moves his head and puts his arms around my leg and lays his head on my lap. I freeze. We sit here for a while. I mean, I sit and he lays. It's dark by the time I move and lay down with him. He's still in my lap. "No!". I shoot awake. My eyes open fast, it's Mike. "Hmnm- ", he is talking in his sleep. "I got to tell you smtnnnnngrrrr- I love you. No! Mike what is wrong with you! You can't say that. He will think you are weird! Yes. I think I'm weird. Ngggg grrrrrr" he goes. I laugh. I cover my mouth with my hand because I don't want to wake him. I've no idea what he's dreaming about but he's so immensely cute, it's like a dream. I believe I fell back to sleep.