Brown eyes

Tables

Now they say we have to let the tables turn but I don't think that is all true. See we help the tables in a way, but me.. yeah I wasn't gonna let it happen because I wasn't mentally done with my ex, so I was letting my emotions get the best of me.

1 month later
A month later felt like 4 year to me and it sucked because the longer I was by myself.... The worse it got. Now I tried to be around friends and family but it never felt right, I felt like I was missing my other half and I wasn't gonna stop till I got it, but it didn't matter because you can't make someone love you and I knew that already, but I couldn't stop and think about it. The what ifs, like what if she does want me, what if she realized that I was her true love, what if she misses me.... Yeah those what ifs are heartbreaking when you know they are not gonna come true. But being a person who is easily addicted to someone who shows that they care does that, they hold on to all the what ifs they can think of, until there none.
I didn't have the people I used to have when I was living in Michigan, but even in Michigan I didn't have people so either way I had nobody..... well there was one person I had and she was my bestfriend in Michigan and her name was Sadie and when I tell you she was my bestfriend I really mean it and she was my sister but we had a falling out so I couldn't call or text her and get her help but I guess everything happens for a reason. I just wish she would come back... but that's besides the point.

5 months later
Some months later I was getting better and I didn't think about my ex much but I knew I was better than what I was thinking and I was learning how to keep myself busy and not be so sad all the time. It became a habit to do something everyday, for me it was makeup and nails so I had my thing but when I did think about my ex and get upset I would go to my extra sister and she was my step sister but her dad and my mom didn't end on a good note but I still seen her as my sister no matter what. But when I went to her she always walked me through it and honestly I can't thank her enough. No matter how annoying I got about it she was right there holding my hand. But on the good days I was getting shit done and keeping myself busy. Then once I got over my ex I was back on my shit and it was the best me I have ever seen. See this me didn't give a fuck and who people wanted me to be, this me showed everyone who I was gonna be, and that made it ten times better. That's when I knew I was back.