Can't stop loving you!

Chapter 1

*I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours...*
I was listening to the lyric's on max,
till i heard my Mom screaming.
fuck, not again.
My heart started beating so quickly and i thought i was bout to have a panic attack.
i pressed my Hands against my Ears and prayed it would stop, like always.
now its quite again.
I sit there and think of what I should do,
like it was the first time, eventhough it happeneds always.
I slowly walked into my sisters room,
to look after her. Of course she isn't home, like always.
Home alone with both of them..
As I'm slowly walking into the living room,
I see just Mom and our TV, now broken at the floor.
„What happened?" I asked just as i realized that tears started slieding down my cheeks.
„You're Home?" she asked with a straight face.
„Yeah, as you can see.
You really won't ever get it huh?
Just get a divorce, i just can't with you guys anymore. It's been years, and look where we are.
First it was just arguing, now you're destroying the house, and one day you'll kill each other, i can tell you that. You always say i'm sorry, but what the heck is this. He is crazy and you have anger issues."
i said while i was balling my eyes and so angry.
„I don't have anger issues, you would do that too?!"
she said as if it was my fault.
„To be honest, yes i would.
But not because it's normal,
probably just because you two gave me the worst trauma and because I saw it my whole life along.
This isn't normal and you know it.
He destroyed you and me.
I can't anymore, you have to understand me.
Do you actually think, that if I move out one day
I will come here with joy and love, while I think about what happened in this house.
This isn't my Home, it's just the place I live.
You know what, do what you wanna do it's your problem and I can tell you one thing,
THIS WILL KILL YOU GUYS!"
and screamed at the top of my lungs.
I feel bad now, wow.
She started walking towards me and slapped me straight in the face.
Well, this hurt like a bitch.
I grabbed my keys, phone, headphones, book and ran out of here.
I started running and running till I saw a bench with a beautiful view at the sky, then put my headphones on and started balling my eyes out.
*Go ahead and cry little girl
Nobody does it like you do
I know how much it matters to you
I know that you got daddy issues.*
I looked at my phone after a while and saw a few messages.
*4 notifications*
____________________________________
Vardah:
what the heck happend?
Where are you?
Why isn't anyone home?
Hello?
Uhg, fuck you.

Dad:
I got a suprise :)

Mom:
Come Home, right now.
____________________________________

I don't wanna answer anyone, but I guess I have to.
Sometimes I just think of running away and never coming back, but I know what I really can't do that.
I slowly got back to out house, when I stood right at the door.
„God, please let them be not here."
i whispered when I slowly opened the door and walked slowly and quietly in my room.
It was actually pretty quiet, and I had to talk to my sister so let's risk it i guess.
„Oh, Lara Jean." said Omar walking into the living into the livingroom.
He is my Sisters Husband and probably likr my non existent Brother.
„Oh Hi, what are you doing here?"
„Come Nour is here too."
We walked into the livingroom and thank god,
no parents.
„What happened LJ." Vardah asked.
I told them everything and of course Omar and Nour
understood, but Vardah just had to.
„I mean it's not the first time and we'll move out soon, so we'll make it." she said smiling.
„What the Heck?
Yes, you can move out in 3 Months, but I'll have 3 years to wait and that isn't even the problem,
because Mom just shouldn't live with him.
She has feelings too and it just isn't healthy to life with a man like dad."
„Yes, but it's her choice."
„ I know that it's her choice, I'm not dumb.
But not every decision a human makes is right and because we're her family, we have to try to show her that her decision and VERY wrong."
„Lara Jean, I think Vardah understands that, but
I tried to help them and they never understand,
eventhough I'm 25 soon and after so many years she didn't do it." she tried to explain.
„Trust me, I know she doesn't want to understand,
but it's a different, between actually wanting to help her and showing her that this isn't healthy and moving out when you're old enough and just seeing how she is every 4 weeks and if she's still alive."
I said really madly and directly regretted it.
You have to know that Nour has been here for me since I was 10 and then she was gone with Omar.
They just live 30 minutes away and I couldn't really go to their house cause you could only get there with a car and that hard for a 10 year old girl.
They came here often but my parents would fight infront of them too, so it didn't really do anything.
I know she feels bad for not being here that often,
but she really could do more if she wanted.
I know that some of you think that she doesn't have to, but i would be there if she needed me.
I walked into my Room angrily and immediately started writing sing texts. I love writing songs.
Then I heard the doorknob...
„Everyone in the Livingroom, right now"
I slowly walked into the Livingroom and my Mom was there too. They came home together. Normally they need at least a day to act like nothing happened.
Cool, that I am on bad terms with everyone in this Livingroom.
As I came in, everyone was staring at me, but I wanted to make it fast so i could write my song.
My Dad had a huge Smile at his Face and I knew i wasn't gonna like his suprise or news.
„So Me and Your Mom decided,
to move to the United Kingdom, because I just found out, that I got a way better Job there.
This will change our Family into the better and
I'll make so much more Money." he explained.
„When?" Vadha asked.
„In about 2 weeks, when the summerbreak starts so we can spend our summer there too."
„do I have to come too? I mean Im 18 not even 2 Months and it would be so dumb to stay there for such a short amount of time." she tried to get out of this.
„Excuse me?" I asked speechless.
„What?" My dad asked like it was so normal to decide such a big part of your daughters future.
„Did you not think about me for one second?
It's not like you think, you know?
I don't wanna see the world with you too alone
and then hear you scream at the top of your lungs at each other. This isn't some random american perfect family show, okay?
I wish I could just say that i'm old enough and never talk to you guys again, but that's not the way I am.
Dad, you don't even know that I wanna be singer one day and write my songs everyday. Or that I have my own Band that I sing with in the late night club in the next street, or even that i'm a barkeeper there.
You have no Idea who I am and probably never will, but still want to act like we are a happy family?
No, not with me. I thought I can be lucky that I already live in the United states of America and that I could just go to Los Angeles on day and live my dream, but you even have to destroy the thoughts of my dream and the only thing that makes me happy?"
and again i'm arguing..
„Singing? You watched to many movies.
You are gonna go to college one day and have a real job, so don't blame me for your unrealistic dreams."
„You have no Ide-" I was to say what everyone thought, when she started talking.
„That's it Lara Jean Jackson.
There is no discussion. We are moving to the Uk and you don't have to say anything about it, like always."
My Mom started acting like she thought everything my Dad says is true. She just knows he's wrong.
„okay. Yes Family, send me the date when we fly so I know when to put my fake happy family mask on."
I said and walked out of door directly into my room.
Well, fuck my life.
And like always I feel asleep crying.