It was a long day for Shinobu, but she heard from Mitsuri’s crow that Mitsuri would stop by the Butterfly estate soon. Shinobu was excited, to say the least. She hasn’t been able to see her girlfriend in a couple of weeks since it’s been so busy, demons and everything like it was the leading cause. That was beside the point. She just wanted to catch up with Mitsuri.
A knock sounded on her door, “come in.”
And lo and behold, it was Mitsuri.
“Hello, Mits-”
Before Shinobu could even get the rest of her greeting out, Mitsuri slammed her hand down on the table. A distinct crack noise was heard.
“Hey,” the table breaks in half, “Shinobu~~”
Shinobu looks at the broken table and then back at her girlfriend, “friendly seeing you here.”
Mitsuri grins, putting her hand to lean on the wall, her hand breaking through the wall.
Shinobu glances at the new hole in the wall, ‘that's the 23rd hole,’ she notes.
Before she can say anything, Mitsuri winks at her, “If you asked me to….”
Shinobu smiles, “What am I asking you?”
“If you asked me to, I’d drink your piss.”
Shinobu keeps smiling, her smile a little strained, “I’m not gonna ask you to do that.”
Mitsuri winks again, “I know, but if you did. I would.”
“Please don’t.”
“But-”
“No buts.”
“I fell on my way here,” Mitsuri says.
“Oh? Do you want me to disinfect the wound or bandage it?”
“I fell for you.”
“That’s swee-”
“I also tripped on a branch.”
“So you do want me to fix your wound?”
“No, anyways, do you know CPR?”
“Yes? I’m a doctor?”
“Cause you take my breath away.”
“That’s-”
“And I also ran right into a branch after I tripped.”
“Are you sure your head is okay?” Shinobu puts her hand atop Mitsuri’s head, or at least tries to. She ends up just resting her hand on Mitsuri’s forehead.
“My head is fine,” Mitsuri looks down at her own crotch,” that one isn’t”
Shinobu raises an eyebrow, “Mitsuri. What?”
Mitsuri stays quiet.
“Mitsuri, you don’t have a dick.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do????????????????????? We’ve had sex multiple times. AND I’M THE DEMON SLAYER CORPS DOCTOR.”
Mitsuri frowns, “...So I’m guessing these pick-up lines didn’t work,” Mitsuri says, pulling her hand out of the hole she created.
“Absolutely not.” Shinobu pulls her hand back
“Yeah, I didn’t think they would work either..” she sighs.
YOU ARE READING
incoherent gays ft. shinomitsu
RandomA oneshot shinomitsu crack that should not be taken seriously. All the characters are purposefully out of character for humour reasons. This contains joke homophobia, suggestive jokes/dirty jokes, cursing Posted on AO3 initially but I decided to pos...
