Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 1: The Stares

     The stares.

      That was the biggest issue being a fat girl, the stares that came along with the size. Everywhere I went it seemed like people were staring at me with their judgeful eyes. I felt it now, as intense as ever, and it didn't help that I was a new student here either.

      After critical thinking my dad suddenly decided we needed a new change in scenery. Apparently, the rural area we lived in had become boring and lacked adventure. So, he did the most drastic thing he could think of; move us to the big town of Lyon that was. I hated him ever since, knowing moving to the big town just meant more eyes would stare at me.

      Sighing, I made sure to keep my eyes on the ground as I walked to the office. No one needed to see my chubby face, and it sucked that I couldn't hide my huge body either. All I've ever wanted to do was hide actually. I never asked to be noticeable, yet here I was: huge and noticeable.

      Eventually I made it to the office and I exhaled in relief. So far, no one had "kindly" commented on my size, which was strange because back in my rural home people did that a lot. Did it hurt? Hell yeah.

      "Quinn Jones."

      I looked up and saw that the lady at the counter was searching for the owner of the name, which was me. Gulping, I made my way to her. This was the first time my head was up inside the school and I wasn't pleased with what I saw. Everyone - and I mean everyone - was skinny. They were all half my size which earned me a few stares. I pretended they didn't exist, as usual.

      "Hi, I'm Quinn Jones," I said nervously when I reached the desk.

      The lady looked up at me and I knew she was judging. I didn't blame since she was awfully skinny too.

      "Here's you schedule and locker number," she finally said, handing me a paper.

      Thanking her, I ran - quickly walked - out of the office. The aura in there was judgemental, but I guess that's how highschool is in general. Full of judgemental looks and sneers for being who you are. Obviously I wished things were different because it hurt. No matter how much I tried to ignore it, it hurt to be treated differently because of who you were.

      English - my most hated subject - was my first class for the day. I made sure to come early to it anyways though. Having no friends meant I couldn't wander the hallways, and the stares were getting to me. Attention was the one thing I wished I never earned.

      I made sure to sit at the back of the class in a corner. The one spot that would never catch attention. Even though I wanted friends, I also wanted to be a wallflower. The want to be a wallflower always won, but don't worry, I did have friends in my old school. Friends I wished I never had to leave.

      Sighing once again, I decided to read "Paper Towns" by John Green, the book I made sure to bring today. You could say I was a "readaholic" because I spent hours reading a day. Not having an active social life lead to that.

      I began to get lost in the book, another masterpiece written by John Green. Getting lost in the book didn't last long though.

     "That's my seat."

      I looked up, frightened by the low menacing voice. My blue eyes met glaring chocolate brown ones of a boy. They stared at me so intensely that I started shaking.

     "Sorry, I'll move," I apologized nervously.

      I began packing up, but then he placed a hand firmly on my desk. Looking up again, I actually took the time to study whoever the guy was. He was considerably attractive with his dark-brown, spiked-up hair and strong facial structure. It also looked like he got a tan, but I knew he was just gifted with skin that wasn't pale - unlike me. Overall he looked like a jock though, so I was wary of him. What he said next surprised me though.

     "You can stay here."

      I blinked. What?

      "It's okay," I said anyways. "I shouldn't take someone else's seat."

      As I tried to get up, he put a hand on my shoulder and gently made me sit down. I flinched the second he touched me because I wasn't used to anyone touching me, unless they wanted to point out a flaw. That was the cruel reality I lived in.

      "Stay," he insisted, bringing back his menacing tone.

      I nodded vigurously because I was scared once again. Even though he was trying to be nice, he sure was scary.

      Seeing that I was obeying he left. I was about to exhale in relief, but he sat at the desk next to mine. My jaw dropped as I stared at him. This could not be happening. Noticing me, he met my eyes. I quickly looked away and went back to reading, slightly shaking in fear. Oh god.

      I made it through half the day without any comments about my size. A part of me hoped that this was a permanent reality, a reality where people didn't care about size. My hope soon vanished.

      I got up from my seat and turned around to leave. As soon as I did that, I bumped into a tiny brunette.

      "Sorry," I apologized instantly.

      Despite my apology, the girl glared at me. She looked furious, even though I bumped into her lightly.

      "Watch where you're going fatass!" she snapped.

      I heard a few laughs around me. My cheeks turned red as I apologized again. Without waiting for a response, I rushed out of the classroom. I couldn't believe I thought this place was different. It was just the same, everywhere was. As long as I was fat, people would judge me.

      I quickly made my way outside. I knew I was attracting more stares by rushing, but I didn't care. Being me meant that people would always stare.

      Once outside I sat next to a fence. There wasn't anyone nearby which was what I was aiming for. The less people the better. That's what I learned the hard way.

     I pulled out my lunch from my backpack. Today I had - gasp - salad. Yeah, despite common belief us big girls do eat salad. I actually love it in fact.

      As I ate, I took in my surroundings. Not a lot of people were outside. From what I knew the cafeteria was where people liked to hang out. The only people who were outside were people playing sports. Right now there was a basketball game happening in front of me meters away. I couldn't help but watch them.

      One boy in particular caught my attention. He was so slick. No one seemed able to steal the ball away from him and he shot the ball in the net effortlessly. As I analyzed the boy more intently, I realized it was the scary boy from earlier. Shuddering, I pulled my gaze away only to meet hazel eyes.

      Before I could scream, she said, "You're new, right?"

      "Yeah," I replied hesitantly.

       I studied her. She was a cute little blond girl with a nice smile. Gifted with pin-straight hair and large hazel eyes. I felt jealous just looking at her because she was petite. Something I've always wanted to be.

      "I'm Cece," she said, extending a hand towards me. "It's nice to meet you."

      "Quinn." My eyebrows rose as I took her hand awkwardly. I wondered what her intentions were.

      "I know what it's like to be new, so let's be friends."

      She smiled sweetly and I gave in. The girl looked like an angel, so I didn't mind becoming her friend. Unlike everyone else, she also didn't stare at me with those judging eyes. That was all I ever wanted.