Life's Better When You Gotta Bassist In It // L.A. Guns •Kelly Nickels•

They're Going to End Up Killing Themsleves

When I woke up, I looked at my alarm clock and it was 10. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn't. I got up and walked to the kitchen.

To my surprise, Kelly was sitting at the counter. "Hey Kelly." I said. He groaned and grabbed his head. "Don't yell, my head is fucking killing me." He said. I looked at him.

You have got to be kidding me. He has a hangover. "Are you shitting me, how much did you drink last night?" I asked. He shrugged. "I lost count." I sighed and started taking stuff out of the fridge.

"Lucky for you, I have a hangover cure." I said. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "You've drank before?" He asked. I shook my head no. "I have never drank a drop of alcohol in my life, and I plan on keeping it that way." I said.

"Okay, but where'd you get the hangover cure from?" He asked again. I set down the drink in front of him. I got it from nursing my moms hangovers over the years after she'd beat the shit out of me the nights before. "Doesn't matter, but drink it."

He did as I said and he looked somewhat alive again. "Thanks Erin." He said. I nodded. "Couch, we're buying a couch today." I said. He agreed and I went to my room to get dressed.

We walked to my car and went to buy a couch.

"How about this one?" Kelly asked, standing in front of a giant ass couch. "Kelly, it's the size of our whole fucking apartment." I said. He looked at me and laughed. "Then our apartment could be nothing but couch, and that doesn't sound so bad." He said.

I laughed and walked to a reasonable sized couch that would fit in our living room. "This one looks okay." "Yeah, but it looks like the size of a chair." Kelly said. He sat down on it and I sat down next to him.

He was right, there were no spaces between and no where else other people could sit. "Maybe it's a love seat." I suggested, trying to wiggle my way up. Kelly looked at me and smirked. Our faces were closer than I had thought thanks to the tiny ass couch. "Then that wouldn't be so bad either." He said.

"Think logically Kelly." I told him, he looked at me and smiled. "Oh, I am." We got up from the love seat and looked at another one. "Oh, now this? This one is perfect." I said, standing in front of a tan couch.

I sat down and Kelly sat on the other end of it. It was perfect. "This is the one." I said. We ended up buying the couch and we took it to our apartment. " Kelly, how exactly are we supposed to get this up to the apartment?" I asked.

Kelly ended up calling Tracii to come help him. "Thanks for helping us Tracii." I said, after he and Kelly set the couch down. "No problem, Erin." He said with a small smirk. "So Kelly, what are you doing for the rest of the day?" I asked him.

"I'm going to go hang out with Tracii and the others." He said walking to the door. "Okay, bye Tracii." I said he smiled and also said goodbye.

Being at the apartment sure was lonely. I guess I could swing by where my dad usually hangs out on his sober days to see if he's alright. I got up and grabbed my keys, driving to an old roller rink.

When I entered, I found my dad sitting at one of the tables. I'm glad today was a sober day. "Hey dad." I said. "Hey Erin." He said, kind of zoned out. "You have to help mom or help yourself. I had to move out a few days ago because she nearly killed me with a broken bottle of vodka." I told him.

He shook his head and looked at me. "I have tried, she started drinking shortly after you were born, and as time went on and I tried to get her help, she wouldn't listen and I couldn't live with it. I didn't want to leave you with her and I didn't want to take you away from your mom, so I got tied up in drugs. And now I can't stop. I can't." I nodded.

"Be safe dad." I said. He nodded and told me he loved me and I did the same, then I left. This visit with my dad was a little heavy hearted than the other times I'd visit him. Not asking about each other's day or what was going on in our lives.

As soon as I reached my car, I started bawling. Dad looked worse than he was the last time I saw him, and Mom? I stopped thinking of her as a motherly figure a while ago. "One of them is gunna end up dying. They're going to get themselves killed and I'm not gunna be able to stop it." I said to myself through tears.

Eventually, I started back to the apartment. I stopped crying on my way to the apartment, but I knew it would happen again. Dad looks like he's holding onto life by a thread, that could potentially break the next time he shoots up.

I eventually reached the apartment and laid my head on my steering wheel. I wish my parents were sober. I got out of my car and looked at my watch. It was 1:34. I doubt Kelly's home, and I'm kind of hoping he isn't.

I need to be alone for a bit. I went to unlock the door but it was already unlocked. That means Kelly's probably home. I opened the door and Kelly, along with his band was sat in the living room.

I just stood there and stared at them. "Hey Erin." Kelly said. I felt a silent tear fall down my cheek as he said that. I needed to be alone. I wiped the tear and walked to the kitchen without saying anything.

"Is she alright?" Phil asked Kelly as they watched me open cabinets in search of something, the way my dad looks and how my mom is, is messing with me. "I don't know." He answered. I stopped looking in the kitchen and walked to Kelly's room and opened the door, Kelly following after me. He stopped when he saw me moving his stuff, looking for something.

"Erin, what the hell are you doing." He asked. I didn't listen and kept moving stuff until I found what I was looking for. I knew Kelly would have some in his room because he's always drinking. I grabbed the bottle of whatever kind of alcohol it was and walked out of Kelly's room, brushing past him and walking back to the kitchen.

I grabbed a cup and opened the bottle. I poured a little bit of the alcohol in it and sat the bottle down, still holding the cup. I was about to drink it, but as soon as my eyes landed on the bottom of the glass and the brown liquid, I remembered everything that mom has done to me under the influence.