Love

Chapter 1-A Look Into The Mirror

Naomi had many ideas about love in her life First, soulmates didn't exist and neither did fate. Love, in her eyes, isn't spontaneously created but rather something you grow over time and care. True love didn't exist to her either, there was no one person in this world made specifically for you. You had to create love, simple as that.
But along with these ideas of love were many people she loved in her life. There is her mom, who had taught her many things about life and who she could always trust with her secrets. There is her dad, who while she had trouble seeing eye to eye a lot, still helped her at any chance and tried his best to support her. There is her sister, who had teased her for most of her life but was now strangely kind to her.
There is...was Raye Penber, her now ex-fiancé. At first, loving him was amazing. Something new and fresh, a new thing she had never even thought of. Loving him was like exploring a cave with dazzling crystals...but even so, exploring the same cave got a bit dull after the crystals had turned to stones and it began to dry and wither. He had treated her so nicely, so romantically...but soon her days with him were filled with his little comments and complaints about her behavior. About who and where she came from. He had always made her the bad guy, the hysterical one. Naomi could tolerate that, she loved him...didn't she? But not even love could make the day she saw him at dinner with another woman holding her hand like he used to hold hers and whispering into her ear with the same grin he used to gaze at her with any less painful.
The day afterward she brought the evidence and cried and yelled and screamed her throat out at him, at the woman...maybe even a little at herself. That same day she broke up with him and that same night, Naomi felt happiness she hadn't felt in years. Freedom she could finally taste. She had forgotten what that felt like.
She had loved...no, loved isn't the right word. More of, something along the lines of a fire. Yes, a fire. What she felt for Beyond Birthday...was a fire. Some toxic mixture of animosity yet lust. She wanted him to feel pain, suffering, she wanted to break him under her boots. She wanted to choke him and leave bruises. She wanted to spit in that crazed grin of his and show him how much of a insect he was. She wanted to have her way with him just as he did the same to her. What happened those nights with Beyond was a wildfire. A kind of mutual hatred filled eroticism. Those nights he was inside her, it burned. But she burned him right back. They consumed each other like a pack of wild dogs. And in those nights it was like Naomi was made for this.
After those nights, Naomi discovered a new love named Liquor. Many nights she spent staring at the bottom of a wine glass which turned into bottles which soon turned into warm brown bottles of scotch. Something stronger each time. To chase away the memories, She told herself. Of the days where Raye had promised himself to her and the nights where Beyond scratched at her back as she rode him. However, the day she heard Beyond had died from a heart attack, she found herself in the alcohol's company much more. For reasons she herself could not find the words too.