Asphyxiate

.3

The first thing he tells me after two months of radio silence is to stop bothering him.

He must hate me so much.

Tears start to blur my vision and I immediately wipe them away. No crying.

I stand up and garner all of emotions into a really long run.

I ran around Central park for hours, repeating what I read in my head a thousand times.

Fatigue hits me like a wave and I let myself collapse into the grass. Breathing heavily.

I see it now. Him typing that, all annoyed. Doing that thing he does when he's annoyed, scrunching up his nose.

I try to divert my thoughts to something else. I look at my watch.

2:28pm

"Shit. Quentin must be so worried right now." I say to myself as I continue to rest. Breathing in and out heavily. He gets really worried all the time especially since he can't contact me in any way, no phone, remember?

I gather all the energy I have left to walking slowly back to the apartment. I wouldn't want to give my brother a heart attack.

"You should get a phone. Just so I could, you know, contact you?" Quentin says one time.

"I don't know." I reply with a shrug.

I replay that memory in my head. I might get one, yeah. It'll calm his nerves down, Quentin's been on edge too. As I near my door, I jumble the keys out of my pocket.

The door wasn't even fully open when a pair of hands inside, grabbed me into a hug.

"Jesus Christ Harper! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Quentin says as he wraps me in a really tight hug. I feel hot tears on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry Q." I say into his chest.

He pulls away after a while and leads me to the couch where my laptop sits on the coffee table.

"You read it." I voice out my thoughts.

"You left this open, and the door was ajar when I came back. I thought you went to, um, I don't know!!" He nervously stammers.

"You thought I killed myself?" I say the fact bluntly. "I'm sorry I worried you Q. I didn't mean to. I just went for a really long run."

"Can you please get a phone H? I'm always so worried about where you are, I know you're a smart woman and you wouldn't do anything drastic but please, just for the peace of my mind?" He pleads to me. I nod in approval.

"Okay. For mom & dad too." I say while standing up and heading to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower first."

"Have you had your lunch?" He asks as I turn my back to him.

"Yeah." I let the lie slide of my mouth ever so slowly. I shut the bathroom and let the water wash away all of today's worries.

Willing myself to stop sulking about everything. Morgan leaving does not mean it is the end of my life. I have got to start believing that.

***

"Mom & Dad will be so happy to hear from you again H." Quentin says happily. I smile to him.

We are now walking down the streets of New York City, take out bags in our hands. I just bought my new phone, with only my parents and Quentin's number in it.

"I'm happy that I can contact them again too." Quentin smiles at me and starts talking about a girl he met at work. Stacy, was it?

He was still going on and on about this Stacy girl when we pass by a pawn shop. And I immediately get an idea. I stop him in his tracks,

"I'll be back in a sec, Q."I cross the street and walk in to the pawn shop. Quentin not too far behind me. Of course he follows me. Stubborn.

I sit in front of one of the available windows,

"Hi. How much will I get for this ring?"