Married Or Not

1.Married

Deep breaths shivi deep breaths I tried to calm myself looking in mirror trying to gain some moral support as if I weren't alone in this big bedroom from an hour. It's 10 o'clock at night I'm in my husband's room, our I guess but doesn't feel like until you're welcomed and told so. I really feel out of place, a strange feeling churning in my stomach, maybe nervousness. Crap shouldn't have read stupid romance novels when in teenage huhh now I got high expectations.. So here I'm waiting for my new husband more likely to get out of my wedding dress. I picked up my heavy clothing and sat on the reading chair with a long sigh
I scanned the room our marriage bed was decorated with red rose petals. Who's idea was that now. Do newly Weds really sleep on them...why make the already tired couple to Clean the bed before retiring how is that even romantic sleeping on flowers that will get inside your clothes stick on your naked skin that looks really uncomfortable...I can't imagine sleeping like a statue.
Then there's another door other than the bathroom okay let's see what's in there. I drag myself up to the door pushing it open slowly as if it's someone's bedroom huh
a walk-in closet when I enter it I see  suits all different colors lined up. Now I remember I've Never seen this man in anything other than a suit but what can I say I've met him only a few times and today I got married to him stupid I know but it was an arranged marriage. At least he's not a complete stranger
oh really?? that familiar voice in my head remarked
fine we are practically strangers what do I know about him other than his name or that his father and my father are college friends and business partners I trust my father he wouldn't lead his only daughter into a Lions den so I trust his judgement.
Surely he doesn't sleep in a suit what does he look like in casuals guess I'll find out later. My bags were already there some servant must have brought it up.

So miss Shivina ooh shit it's Mrs Shivina no more Basu Mrs Shivina Rudra Birla.

 You must be thinking why arrange marriage I was scared too I still am..how could I possibly agree to it well he smiled at me a few times and it was warm and... something.. it was always going to be an arrange marriage my father would've found someone in his business circle, so I saved myself the effort of having to convince him if I had fallen in love with some outsider, actually I never found the one.. always worried what if they don't really love me but my father's money I'm his only daughter and heiress. And Rudra he's sick Rich himself next in line to inherit his father's business and estates he doesn't need my money.
He's fine I mean imagine it could've been anyone some big fat ugly horrible dominant terrifying abusive guy at least Rudra is good looking and the fact that he could smile tells me he's not that terrible he's Adani I've met his father before nice man so I'll say Rudra is not abusive either if he takes after his father.

You are just convincing yourself that this is going to turn into some nice fairytale pathetic..

"Well what I'm supposed to do then."
I shout out loud to stop these voices in my head. someone knocked at the door Rudra I glanced at the wall clock 11pm come in I braced myself inwardly for the new beginning I turned to find out it wasn't Rudra I don't know why I lost my smile it was Jay his friend. Why whenever I expect Rudra there's Jay as substitute on our damn wedding night too..this is the third time.

"Are you okay?"  he asked concerned
" I heard your voice were you talking to someone."
 " uh no." he didn't look convinced so added " actually I was actually talking to myself believe me." Oh great now he thinks I'm mad and will tell his friend " I was trying to shed some nervousness." I confessed

"Oh sorry that's understandable.."

"Were you here for Rudra?"

"Huh? ohh! yess judging by the atmosphere I'm guessing he's not here yet." He grinned " I'll find him and send him straight to you.."

"Oh no I was just ...it must be something important I believe.."

"You look tired you should go to bed at least change into something comfortable.."