Balh2 snippets Raya

Ehsaas dard ka

"Kya sach me tumhe meri takleef ka ehsaas hai.... Hai Priya?" He asked her under the stream of the same shower which once held the strings of their beautiful moment.

"Kya tumhe ehsaas hai ki mujhe kitni takleef hoti hai jab mai tumhe us Krish ke saath dekhta hu?

Kitni mautein Marta hu mai jab Krish aake mujhse tumhari baat karta hai.

(Pointing fingers at her) jab tumpe mujhse jyada apna haq jatata hai... Mujhe ehsaas dilata hai ki mai tumhara ex- hoon.

Andaaza bhi hai tumhe, kya feel karta hu mai... Tumhe pata bhi hai kis dard se guzra hu mai... Peechle paanch saalo me mar mar ke jiya hu mai.... Kya se kya ho gya hu mai.... Par tumhe to wahi ram Kapoor dikhta hoga na jiske kisse magazines ke cover page par chhape hote hai , jiske panno par tum moong-fali khakar, uske tukde- tukde karke phenk deti ho....

Priya meri zindagi wahi ban gayi hai, kaagaz ke unhi tukdo ki tarah bikhar gyi hai... Toote aaine ki tarah ho gyi hai, jise jodna chahta hu to chot lagti hai aur chodna chahta hu to mai....."( He left the sentence unfinished)

Hot tears trickled down his face... Even with water running over their head , she could see , she could identify the tears which he never wanted her to see.

He too can see her eyes stinging with pain and want to reduce it in anyway possible. Alas he is unable to do so, the same way he cannot call pihu his, which he wants from a part of his heart which is still alive even after losing shivi and even after getting betrayed by Priya,  when he knows the reality says otherwise.

She saw him wiping his tears off his face and new stream comes out of his stubborn eyes. He just turns his face to the other side, not wanting her to see the weaker part of his being.

She just said sorry after five years of making his life hell and something enraged him again.

He could not stop himself from asking her, "Kis baat ke liye sorry ho tum Priya , ky wakai me sorry ho tum?"

"Tumhe lagta hai jo tumne kiya wo sahi tha?"

He asked her again, " kya Tumhe lagta hai jo tumne kiya wo sahi tha?"

"Kyunki jo tumne kiya na ...mujhe nahi lagta wo sahi tha , isiliye mujhe tumse help maangne me koi guilt nahi, koi pareshani feel nahi hoti hai... Jo kuch tumne mere saath kiya, uske baad mujhe jail jane se bachane ke liye, itna to kar hi sakti ho na tum priya..... Har bereham ko apne ex- pe itna to Reham karna hi chahiye, nahi?"

The pain , the hurt in his eyes, his stuttering voice compelled her to tell him ,

"Aapko mujhe jo kehna hai , keh lijiye, jo sunana hai , suna lijiye... Mai sab sun lungi ... Par please aap rooiye mat"

She attempts to wipe away his tears but he stops her hand midway.

She couldn't stop herself from saying, " mai aapka indifference, aapka gussa, yaha tak ki aapki nafrat bhi seh sakti hu... Par aapka dard mujhse nahi Saha jata , mr. Kapoor."

His hold over her wrist loosens hearing her and she brings both her palms forward and wipes his tears off his face and hugs him tightly.

Priya (while hugging him)- aap.. .... Aap please mat rooiye ....mai aapko dard me nahi dekh sakti.... ( While crying herself) Aapka dard mujhe hazaaron mautein marne ke liye majboor kar deta hai.

Ram holds both her arms tightly not enough to hurt her and comes out of the hug, looking straight in her eyes, he asks her, "kyun?"

She tells him the only thing he wanted to hear from her mouth since five years, " kyunki Mai aapse pyar karti hoon.... Mai aapse ... Sirf aur sirf aapse pyar karti hu , mr. Kapoor..... Kyunki mujhse iske alawa kuch aata hi nahi hai..... Kyunki in paanch saalon me jis tarah aap har din tadpe hai, usi tarah maine bhi ye paanch saal mar mar ke guzaare hai..... Meri zindagi me aapki jagah na pehle koi le paaya tha aur na hi aaj koi le sakta hai.... Pihu aapki beti hai Mr. Kapoor, sab meri galti hai, jis bachche ko dekh kar aapko pyar aana chahiye, use dekhkar aapko takleef hoti hai..... Haan ye sach hai ki maine aapko dhokha diya , par jaise aap maante hai waise nahi... Mahendra sood ka khoon mere andar bhi hai, par uska rang itna bhi gaadha nahi hai ki mai apne pyar ka hi gala ghot du.... Maine aapse jhooth kaha tha , ki pihu Krish ki beti hai jabki sach ye hai ki pihu aapka khoon hai , aur Krish... He has never been a part of my life , the way you think him to be."