shit ill never say (but stars do i want to)

Disappointed in you.

A letter for anonymous.

Yknow, I feel so much on behalf of my partner. You hurt him. I am so disappointed, among other things.

Sure, you both made mistakes. But you're the only one who refuses to take accountability. and I have to sit here and say im not absolutely livid at you saying you didn't know what you did.

You used me. you used him. I was still talking to you after the breakup because i knew you'd need somebody to stimulate growth. I see now i was naive for thinking i could help you. you dont even want to help yourself.

and y'know what? When you do break, i hope im there to watch. i want to watch you wallow in your guilt, knowing that you could've fixed most of your problems if you had just picked your balls off the floor and communicated clearly. I want to watch you cry and beg for forgiveness. i want to see that pride topple over to show just how pathetic you really are.

and yes, i did lecture you about shit at 230 in the morning. you wanna know why? thats the only time you give enough of a shit to talk to me. I was a last resort. you said so yourself.

'it's not like i can talk to anyone else about these things'

and the stupid thing is is that it made me feel special. I felt needed for once in my life. like i was worth something.

but no. you would've never even talked to me if there was someone else.you would've had no reason to. because you explaining in detail what you hate about yourself and what you hate about others is the only thing worth talking about with me. you often ignored me otherwise.

Oh. and the AUDACITY you have to talk shit about my partner TO ME? You're a coward. you wont tell it to his face, but you'll tell it to me? awee is the wittol baby scawed of being cwiticized fow theiw bad behaviow? awwwwee ill push you into the spotlight if you even so much as look at him funny. you treated him like shit.

also the way you framed him as the bad guy? for wanting your attention? for more than 2 seconds? for wanting to be at the center of your focus for just five FUCKING minutes.

you cannot look at me and tell me you loved him when you didn't even care about him for HIM. you cared about what he could do for you. you wouldn't have loved him if he were a talking worm. I would. that's why im better than you.

I'm making a point to be better than you in every way i possibly can. im a better partner than you could ever hope to be.

you will remain stagnant. it will be torture. I hope you enjoy your consequences.