Dear _________,
I know. I know it's hard right now. I can see pain in your eyes, hear the sadness in your voice and notice the cuts you have on your wrists.
You might think that nobody cares and nobody loves you but I do. Even if I don't know you in person, I believe you are beautiful. Inside and out.
I don't know what or who is making you feel depressed right now but sometimes, the root of depression is hard to understand. You might be actually considering to attempt suicide but I want you to think about it.
I'm aware, I'm aware. I mean, who am I to tell you that? I'm just this girl from the internet. But let me tell you the consequences if you do actually annihilate yourself.
Your mom twists the knob of your bedroom door open and sees you lying motionless on the floor or hanging. She runs towards you, checks your heartbeat and all she does hear is silence.
Tears well up in her eyes and she begs you to wake up. But she knows that you won't. She screams for help, your father rushes in, sees you and stops dead in his tracks.
Your siblings run to see what's wrong, they gasp and tears start to stream down their faces. Your parents call 911 and they come to get your body. Doctors attempted to revive you but it's too late. You were dead.
Soon, news will be spreading around that you killed yourself. Your friends will be drowned in grief, people you've acquiant with will worry, your teachers will be lonely and the people at school will be in melancholy.
Everyone starts to blame theirselves. Saying that they were the cause of your suicide. They begin to grieve, fall into depression and end up in the same route as yours. Suicide.
Others might be able to have hope but grieving over your death is inevitable. You think nobody cares about you but when you were buried six feet underground, all they think about is you. A breathtaking human being. An angel who went home.
Listen to me, sweetheart. You are loved. Even if you might not see it but you are. You might think that you're ugly or you're fat but I love you just the way you are. You are very beautiful.
I want you to put your hand on your left chest. Yes, that way. You feel that? That's the sound of your heart beating. Beating because you are here to live. For a reason.
You have mass, you occupy space and thus, you matter. Don't ever attempt to kill yourself, honey.
No, you're wrong for thinking that you dying won't affect anything. Does the world care if you die? Yes, we care. We will care a lot. Does it even matter that you kill yourself right now? Yes, it matters. In fact, it's a big deal. The world will just lose another beauty.
I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath. There. You feel any better? Even if you don't, it's okay. You breathe because you're alive. You might be dead inside but there you are, sitting on your chair or whatever you're doing. Alive.
People go through dark times and I know you're protesting right now that your life has been dark for a very long time. That big black cloud above your head won't just go away. People always say that that dreams do come true but they forgot nightmares are dreams too. And I can hear you saying that you're living a nightmare. A real hell. But it will all end. You will wake up. You will be saved from drowning beneath the waves.
I want you to hope. I need you to hope.
Hope makes things possible. Hope is the only thing that helps people feel alive. Yes, hope could be in any form. Your hope might be a person, something or somewhere.
But please hold on to those things. Don't ever give up. You are very brave. You're very brave for waking up in the morning and doing whatever things you do. You are simply amazing for choosing to live when you wanted to die.
You are truly astounding for trying to live even if you don't see the point in your life anymore. You're awesome for surviving another year even if you feel dead.
You might be going through problems now, hindrances that block you from attaining joy, fulfillment or love. But a problem isn't created in the first place if there is no solution. Listen to me, that problem of yours today will go away. Will vanish into thin air.
Hear me out. You deserve to be loved and love. You deserve somebody who knows you're not perfect but treats you as if you are. Don't worry about your flaws, we all have. You're perfectly imperfect.
You deserve to be greeted with hugs and kisses in the morning by someone who loves you. You deserve to travel around the world, meet people and make friends. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live.
Don't worry about what other people think about you. Cry if you want to cry. Don't keep it bottled inside. Stop faking a smile and frown every once in a while. Show them you're upset. Scream if you want ro scream. It doesn't matter what other people see you as, what matters is that you're living your life the way you want to.
You know what? You might feel alone, angry, hurt, suicidal, isolated, broken, hidden behind a mask, depressed, sad, lonely, empty or whatever emotion you're feeling right now but you will get through that. There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. And I'm not going to be an imbecile and tell you to snap out of it but let time do its work. Time heals wounds. Time eventually will make your pain go away.
Love yourself. Learn to appreciate what you are. You're beautful just the way you are. And I want to tell you that even for this second, minute, day or night, you might be not be okay but you will be.
I want you to hold on.
Love,
Cathy
Note:
This is dedicated to people who suffer from depression and who self-harm. People who needs encouraging words, people who feel isolated or to people who just feels sad.
This is also dedicated to people who committed suicide. May they all rest in peace. I wish they were able to realize how beautiful they are.
Nevertheless, the people who killed theirselves aren't actually their real selves, they're the voices inside their heads who told them to bring that razor and cut their wrists, to put that rope around their neck and commit suicide. I hope they're all in good hands now, not feeling any pain nor emptiness.
Listen to Even My Dad Does Sometimes by Ed Sheeran after or before reading the letter above. That song helps a lot.
If you're feeling sad or you might have a problem you want to share, feel free to message me. I will always support you.
