CHEESE WAAAARRRRR (non-canon au) pt.1

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y/n looked lovingly into her Bakubae's eyes... she couldn't believe it, her own boyfriend was a traitor to all of human kind!

y/n: no...just tell me it isn't TRUE!

y/n burst into a fountain, of tears, welling up with rage, heartbroken and betrayed.

y/n: UGH! I can't believe I ever loved you!

Her love had truly been lost to insanity, a failure to humanity...

He didn't respond, keeping his pink, luscious, glossy lips sealed.

y/n: WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE, SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!

y/n gasped, what atrocious words had just left her mouth?!?! She had never called someone an idiot before, only a silly baka. What even was an idiot?? What does it even mean??!

y/n stood shocked, both hands clasped against her mouth, she was utterly speechless at what she just uttered.

Her ex stood silently, not giving a single sound.

y/n's face saddened as she took her hands off her mouth, placing one on his shoulder, resisting the urge to squeeze his muscly chest muscles muscly man booba muscly muscles muscle.

y/n: I have one last thing to say before you leave... I'm not actually as thocv ad o asid i wad

 He turned to gaze upon her most perfect face as look of confusion and curiosity enveloped his own, it seemed as though he would've said something in the moment, but changed his simplistic 2D mind.

y/n: I'M NOT ACTUALLY THAT  T H I C C  OKAY! I JUST HAVE LUMBULAR LORDOSIS THAT'S IT!

His golden spikes blew in the wind but the cold-hearted blonde said nothing

y/n came to her senses, couldn't she have envisioned this scenario taking place? She could now. She remembered when her bae told her of his traumatic backstory in a flashback, which showed him dramatically falling towards the chilling, heartless birch floor, his mother had dropped him purposefully as a baby, multiple times as the scene replayed over and over as he explained that this was an occurrence which happened to his child self everyday.

y/n's juicy, colossal titan sized oppai jiggled in sadness and unison, she whispered her final words as she sighed:

 I just hope you're ashamed of yourself...

at once she turned her back to the shirtless boy as he began towards the enemy line of few yet determined and confident, the enemies lurched in grimy trenches, slithering with the likes of lice, flies, fleas, cockroaches and such crawling on every inch of what would soon be their forsaken territory.

Her giant orbs sparkled, now resenting grief, her determination consumed her  T̶ ̶H̶ ̶I̶ ̶C̶ ̶C̶  lumbar lordosis being.

y/n: WE MUSN'T LOSE HOPE, JUST LOOK AT THEM, shriveled and weak in numbers, but what else could you possibly expect from those with such poor taste! Once this is done we shall reign victorious and supreme, but remember my comrades, we must not resent these cheese haters lest they choose to be resented, instead we must guide them on a path to righteousness!

Not a single soldier failed to cheer at such an empowering speech in which their hearts and spirits were each filled with a fiery passion, for there was no chance of losing when lead by such the perfectly magnificently large-oppaied being  also known as y/n!

y/n's hips seemed to shake in approval and agreement as truly those hips do not lie...


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⏰ Last updated: Aug 15, 2022 ⏰

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