Life's Better When You Gotta Bassist In It // L.A. Guns •Kelly Nickels•

I'm Cold

(Flashbacks)

"You whore no wonder your dad leaves."
That was the second time I had snuck out, and my mom caught me, and then beat me until my face was purple.

"Stop it mom! You're gunna kill me!" That was one of those nights where I didn't sneak out. I was sleeping and the bitch came into my room, woke me up, and drunkenly tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.

"I thought I raised you better than to god damn lie Erin!" That was when I was working at a community pool and mom thought I had stolen the money I earned working there.

Then there was the night where she actually broke a bottle over my head, the reason that pushed me over the edge to move out.

(End of flashbacks)

I zoned back in and saw Kelly looking at me worriedly. I can't, I cannot drink this. I shoved the cup towards him. "Never, under any god damn circumstances, let me touch that shit again, I mean it." I said after he took the cup.

I wiped my face as I felt more tears, walking to my room. I nearly broke the one thing that I take seriously. I almost drank. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Phil, Tracii, Mick, and Steve saw all that.

They must think I'm fucking nuts. I calmed myself down and lit a cigarette. I had to work tonight. I checked my watch. 4:45. I got dressed and walked out of my room, finding the guys where they were earlier.

"Whatever the fuck you guys saw...no,no the fuck you didn't. I apologize for me being a dumbass, but I'm off to the Whiskey to make some cash." I said. Before anyone could say anything, I went to work.

After my shift, I went home and I wish I hadn't. Kelly had a girl over and the walls of the apartment are thin. I walked to my room and changed. I grabbed my Walkman and one of my cassettes. There was no way I was listening to people fuck all night. I eventually went to sleep.

When I woke up, I found my Walkman on the floor. Hope Kelly's lady of the night was gone. I got up and stretched. Today was an off day. I didn't bother changing out of my sleep shorts or my baggy shirt. Today was a lazy day for me.

I grabbed my cigarettes and walked out of my room. I was in the kitchen, making myself breakfast. When I was done I knocked on Kelly's door to see if he was home and there was no answer. I opened the door and the bed was empty.

Which I was happy about. I needed to be alone after my almost drinking last night. I was sat on the couch in the living room, enjoying my breakfast and watching something on MTV, when there was a knock at the door.

I sat my plate down and went to answer it. "Oh hey Phil, Kelly's not home right now and I don't know when he'll be back." I told him. He smiled. "Oh, no, that's alright. I actually came to talk to you." He said.

Even though I was confused, I let him in and we sat on the couch. "So, what do you need Phil?" I asked, trying to figure out his reason to being here. "Look, I'm not one to stumble over my words and make a fool of myself unless I actually have the intention of doing so, I'm just going to get straight to the point." He said.

I nodded as I got more confused. "I have a feeling we could be able to help each other. You could be the calm and responsible one, and I could be the wild one." He said. I looked at him. "I'm not sure I understand where you're going with this." I told him truthfully.

"Erin, I'm asking you if you'd hang with me. We could be each other's balance, y'know." He said. "What does that mean exactly?" He then took his my hands in his out of no where which surprised me. "Like friends, but more than friends." He said.

Finally grabbing onto the idea of what he was trying to get at, all I could do is stare at him. I hadn't known him that long, and here he was trying to get me in bed.

Then, out of no where, before I could say anything, he kissed me. It was weird at first but I let it happen. I hadn't felt like this in awhile. I then began to kiss him back. Before anything could get out of hand, I gently pushed him away and smiled.

"Okay." I told him. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch. "I want to take you somewhere." He told me. I looked at him. "Well can I at least get dressed first?" He nodded and I went to my room, ditching my pajamas for jeans, putting on a belt, a white t shirt, and tucking into my jeans. I put on some shoes and walked out.

"Where are we going?" I asked Phil. "You'll find out." He said as he led me out of the apartment. I locked the door and we continued our way down the stairs.

We stopped in front of a motorcycle. "Well, get on it." He motioned as he got on. "Promise you're not going to kill me?" I said. He looked at me and smiled. "I promise." I got on the bike and sat behind him. "Your gunna wanna hold on." He said, reaching behind him and grabbing my arms, putting them around his torso.

Soon enough we started down the road. I had no idea where we were going. Eventually, Phil had stopped in the middle of no where. "Where are we?" I asked him as we got off of the bike.

"In the middle of no where." He said with a smirk on his face. I smiled. "I already knew that." He then put his hands on my waist and pulled me towards him till our lips met.

All we did was kiss. I had no idea how long we've been out here for. It was getting cold. I pulled away from Phil. "I'm cold."  He took of the leather jacket he was wearing and put it over my shoulders.

"Thanks, but won't you be cold?" I asked him. He shook his head. "You need it more." I put my arms through the arms of the jacket and I hugged him. I knew he'd be done with me in a few months, hell maybe even a few weeks, but I hadn't had this in awhile, and I was going to hold onto it for as long as I could, and I know I wouldn't be sad when it ended.

I looked at my watch and it was 1 in the afternoon. "Where do you want to go?" Phil asked. I smiled. "Let's just drive, doesn't matter where." He smiled and nodded. We got back on the bike and Phil took off down the road.