Letter's of Love

Chapter 1

31st August 2019

As I look up at the night sky, I find it fascinating that this particular star I am looking at could have been there for billions of years. They're beautiful, peaceful. There is not one cloud in sight. If it was possible for me to be a million miles away right now, I would, without a doubt.

As I am sitting on the roof outside my bedroom window, beyond all the screaming and shouting I hear a small creak behind me. Corbin's behind me with messy black hair and watery blue eyes. I can tell he's as upset as I am, hiding it with a sympathetic smile. I am so happy to have my brother  and could not imagine anyone else making me feel better about this situation.

"Room for me out here Sis?" I nod to him and he slides through the window and takes a seat next to me on a plaid cushion. We usually sit on the roof outside my bedroom window because we know it reduces the loudness of the shouting and we can avoid the words my father uses. Corbin takes his arm and wraps it around me "It'll be okay Cassie, whatever happens."

I don't know whether he's trying to convince me or himself at this point. This is their worst argument yet. Dad had finished up working and came straight home and told mum that he has been having an affair with another woman for years. She lives 200 miles away and now she's having his baby, and my mum will have to 'deal with it'.

It was 12:32 AM when the front door slams shut and I see my dad storm out of the house. He gets into his car, lights a cigarette and then quickly drives away. I didn't even know he smoked, which is a perfect example of how little we knew our father.

"He's not coming back is he?" A tear slowly falls from my left eye and they continued to flow. Before I know it, Corbin's doing his best to reassure me and his shoulder is soaked with my tears. I should be happy that there will be no more arguments, that I will be able to peacefully look at the stars, but I know everything is about to change.

The next morning I am woken up to the sound of dishes being clattered around in the kitchen, I sigh, roll over and check the time on my phone. 7:36 AM. I try to get back to sleep as this is too early for me to wake up on a Sunday, but the clattering does not stop. I drag myself out of bed wearing a black baggy t-shirt and a pink lace thong, find some shorts and make my way downstairs to find out who is making all the racket.

"Hi Sweetie, good morning! I hope you slept okay - any chance you could wake your brother up? There's something I want to speak with you both about." She places a few slices of bacon in a frying pan and I drag myself back upstairs.

For someone about to go through a divorce, and the events of last night, Mum seems more put together than me. I was standing there, un-brushed auburn hair everywhere and bags under my eyes, whilst she looked as gorgeous as always. She suits the short blonde hair look and it always seems to be perfectly straight. At least I have her deep emerald green eyes, they are the best thing about her, but even my mother doesn't have under-eye bags like me and she is 50.

My father is a fool. Although I am half awake I still notice the beauty in my mum, but I can't help but be confused by her enthusiasm for the day ahead. Why is she not lying around in bed but instead cooking bacon and listening to an up-beat radio? Maybe Corbin was right, it will be okay.

I knock on my brother's door and walk in to find he isn't there. He must have got up early and went to the gym. Although me and Corbin are twins, we are two very different people. Both personality and appearance wise. Like right now for example, he would rather de-stress in the gym but I would rather spend an extra hour or two in bed. Going the gym would probably be my worst nightmare.

I make my way back downstairs and tell Mum Corbin must be at the gym.

"I've been up all night sorting some stuff out - trying to figure out how we can do this as a family without your father" This makes me a little nervous, as I can sort of see where this conversation is going.

Corbin walks through the door with his gym bag in hand and I can see the disgusting sweat seeping through his shirt, definitely not my ideal morning. It is clear to say he got the good looking gene. His black hair is perfectly messy, he has a golden tan and deep blue eyes. The fact that he has already had three girlfriends in comparison to my zero boyfriends proves my theory. Corbin says it's because I don't go to parties with him or get 'out of my bubble'. We honestly couldn't be anymore different but I couldn't be any more closer to my brother.

After filling up his water bottle he stops and looks at us both seriously "If your going to talk about Pete, who is supposed to be our father, I'd rather not. I just want to forget about him. He's caused this family enough trouble". He is almost panting like a dog until he squeezes some water into his mouth. I thought he would have been more sympathetic but he's right, our father's past is unforgivable.

"Okay, I want you both to sit down and just listen to everything I have to say," we both take a seat at the dining room table. "I was offered a new job about a week ago in bigger law firm in a smaller city down in Westmount, Yorkdale. I wasn't going to take it as I know you're both heading in to your final year of college but I have had a rethink and feel I need to make more of an income to keep this family afloat." She looks at us waiting for a response but we're both in shock and wanting more details. "I don't want to force anyone to move but it would be an amazing opportunity for my career if we do. With certain circumstances I think it would be best for a change, but I won't do it unless you both are as certain as I am. I love you both so much and if you both decide you want to stay, then that is what we will do." She takes a breath and looks like she is on the verge of tears.

"We love you too Mum, but we have friends here and what about football too?" Corbin has friends, I don't have friends. the other students at my college wouldn't even notice I was gone until the register was read and I didn't answer my name.

I can tell he will be more hurt by the move but he will easily make friends. I like it at school because people know who I am and they let me be in the shadows. I don't want to be the new girl who sticks out and everyone notices. But this is for my Mum. She has sacrificed so much for us both and I can only be happy for the move she is making in her career.

"I have looked in to the college there and it seems better than the one here. They have there own football team which you can join Corbin and a writing programme, or art class for you Ruby." She begins to cry.

Corbin and mum are just background noise as I stare at the wooden-oak dining room table we are sitting ar. My mind should be ready to explode with how much our lives are about to change, but instead I can't help but stare and think about the dining table. The fact my dad must have had less than five meals at it for the whole six years we have had it. In fact, the only memory of my dad and this kitchen table was the multiple plates or glasses he has smashed across it in anger. Around the room there are a lot of framed photographs, but my father is somehow invisible.

Maybe he secretly is my superhero?  That would explain all the disappearing.

There is only one Christmas photograph he is in due to 'working' all the time since we where kids. Our prom pictures, he is not in them. My auntie's wedding pictures, he is not in them.

I quickly tune back in to the conversation at a point where Corbin seems to be calmer about the situation. "I just want you to be happy mum and if a fresh start and new job is what you want, then of course I will support you." Corbin wraps his arms around her.

"It's the right idea mum" I nod and embrace them both in a hug. I know it will be hard fitting in to a new college but we need a place away from all the upsetting memories my dad has left behind. A fresh start.