Love everlasting - Avengers fanfic

Bittersweet revenge

As you reach the compound you see Natasha, Bruce, Rhodey, Steve and Thor run towards you. As she safely lands the plane. She opens op the door. As Nebula holds you and Tony up from the ground. Neither of you able to stand on your own to feet for more than a couple of seconds.

Natasha grabs your hand as you fall into her arms. You sob uncontrollably you've never been so scared or lost in your life. And now you were home. You look around in search of Loki he had to be here somewhere.

"It's okay y/n You're all safe now" Nat whispers as she strokes your hair.

"Where is he?" You ask softly, you're voice is shaky and low from pure exhaustion.

"Y/n-"

"Where is he Thor?" You say as you turn to him.

He shakes his head softly, looking at your small tired frame..

"Thor?" You whimper. Your lips quivering. "Where is Loki?"

Thor looks down at the ground, as a sickening feeling overpowers you. And at that moment you knew exactly how death felt. Like your insides had been torn to pieces, your heart ripped out from your chest. You don't feel sad.. you don't feel anything at all. Never before have you ever felt so numb. It's like your heart stopped beating and a black hole grew where your heart used to be. You've lost everything.. and there's nothing you can do but sit in this hurt as the world goes quiet.. falling to your knees. Not a single word escaping from your lips. Your whole body trembling. Like water filling your lungs, screaming at the top of your lungs, except no one could hear you.

"One second he was there.. and then-" Steve tries to take over. "He just wanted you to know he loves you.."

"No" you whimper.. in complete denial. It couldn't possibly be true, out of all the people Loki doesn't just die. He couldn't possibly die..

"If there was anything we could have-."

"Don't" you hiss.

"Come on y/n"

"I said don't Captain.." you hiss once more.

"He's gone y/n"

As you hear those words, it feels as the ground beneath you gets swept away from under you, as you collapse. Thor and Natasha helps carry you inside. You just stare into nothingness. Barely able to breathe. You wanted to cry, your whole body was fighting to just do anything to get rid of this sickening feeling. But there was nothing you could say or do to make you feel better.

Natasha tugs you into bed, she speaks to you but you can't hear her. You hear nothing. You just lay unable to move or sleep.

A trauma doctor comes in the next morning checking up on you. They say you're just in denial, that it's a normal part of grief.. that you refuse to speak or sleep because you don't want to. But it's not that you don't want to, but words have lost all meaning, and sleep will only ease the pain until you open your eyes to discover you're reliving the same nightmare.

After two days they had you plugged into to different machines, injecting the food and water through a tube to get your body stabilized. The only person allowed in your room was Tony, who as well as you was wired up to different machines.

Two weeks later

Tony looks at you through the open door, as you're laying in your bed.. He rolls into your room in his wheelchair. Grabbing your hand.

"Y/n you gotta talk to me.. you're the only person here who doesn't think I'm insane" Tony says desperately. "If you could just-" he stops himself. "Just look at me!" He pleads.