Love everlasting - Avengers fanfic

Bad dreams

1 year later.

Everything is pitch black, you can't see anything, it's like you're stuck in this empty void of emptiness. Everywhere you look the darkness has consumed everything.. Suddenly a bright shining light blinds you. You slowly try to open back up your eyes.. And then you see him.

Thanos.

He stands right in front of you with that dark twisted smile on his face. You try to run away, but you're not moving at all. As you look down at the ground your legs are stuck, sucked into the void. You scream in terror as he walks towards you with slow heavy footsteps. You close your eyes trying to think of anything, but there's nothing. All you hear is the loud echoing of each footstep he takes towards you.

You feel a sharp pain to your abdomen, forcing your eyes to open. Watching as Thanos stabs you over and over again. You're screaming at the top of your lunges, feeling how the weight of the world seems to crumble around you. All you can see is Lokis face as he stand behind him, watching over you in fear, before disappearing into dust. And you could do nothing to stop it..

"Y/n wake up!"

You turn around as you the echoing sound of Natashas voice. It gets louder, and louder, and louder. Until your eyes flash open. Hyperventilating.

"Hey.. hey. You're okay I've got you" Natasha says softly, sitting by your side, holding you close to her.

You cry uncontrollably, pulling up your shirt, running your hand run over you abdomen..

"It was just a bad dream okay? You're safe now" Natasha assures you.

You turn to look at her, gasping violently for your breath. "It wasn't just a dream.. it was memory" you choke out.

Natasha sighs deeply, hugging you tighter, trying to pick you up piece by piece. "I know.. but it can't hurt you anymore" she smiles, wiping away the tears on your cheeks. You rest your head against her chest, sobbing.

If just this had been the first time, if you knew that it was just a dream, that you could wake up and be safe in your own bed again. But it wasn't it, it was so much more than that. It was a memory of what happened to you. And the only place you could go to escape it, has now become a prison as well. Replaying those exact moments in your head over and over.

You did everything in your power to try and think of something else. You and Natasha held weekly meetings, trying to find out what there was to be done. And although a whole year has passed you refused to give up hope, right now this was the only thing distracting you from reality.

Everyone left, tried their best to start over, expecting you and Natasha to do so as well. If everybody moves on, then who's gonna do this.

Natasha was your rock, she didn't try to pity you, or force some diagnosis  down your throat, like Steve or literally anybody else.. they were all convinced you suffered from PTSD, depression or anything for that matter.

They couldn't live with the fact that maybe you just couldn't move on. And you couldn't deal with the fact that you had to.

Steve had asked you and Natasha if you wanted to donate some stuff for the people that struggled economically after losing income. Natasha said it would be a good way to clean out some of the bad memories out of your home. So you agreed, as long as you didn't have to speak to him.