Something on a bad day

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Sitting in the recliner i look up at her smiling face while she straddles my lap and cups my face. Kissing me lightly she asks if I am ok. I tell her no and bury my face into her chest. She wrapped her arms around me, stroking and petting my head/hair with soothing shh's rocking us softly, telling me she was here now. I never wish to leave these arms, especially right now. She is the only place I can find peace, my only true safe harbor. Without her my heart is in agony, stomach knotted in panic, my mind filled with sorrow and hate. And death, my death. I want my death without her...