In Medias Res

1 - Only Person

LIGHT

"Bakit gusto mong maging Chemical Engineer?" tanong ni Maui. Nasa likuran ko siya. She's leaning her back on mine hence I couldn't see her face.

I struggled searching for answers. I didn't want to have the conversation but if I give her an answer different from the truth she'd know. If I lie, I'd break her heart and that's the last thing I would ever want to do.

"Dahil pa rin ba sa letter na yun?" siguro ay nainip siya sa pananahimik ko kaya siya na ang sumagot sakanyang tanong. I made a sound of agreement. "Do you still believe he's a Chemical Engineer?"

I was raised in the orphanage. Hindi ko nakilala ang mga magulang ko. They said my mom died after she left me there that the only proof of her existence to me was a piece of paper. A letter. In that letter, she wrote her dream for me. I couldn't think of any possible reason why she would want me to become a chemical engineer maliban sa tatay ko. That's the only reason that made sense to my innocent young self. At hindi ko alam kung bakit hangang ngayon kumakapit pa din ako sa rason na 'yun.

"Even if he's not, gusto ko pa rin naman ang Chemical Engineering. Pangarap ko din naman 'to para sa sarili ko," sagot ko sakanya. Naramdaman ko ang pagtango niya. "Ikaw? Anong kukunin mo sa college?" I asked her this time.

"Chemical Engineering din..." napakunot ang noo ko sa sagot niya. Hindi ko inaasahang iyon ang kanyang sasabihin. She hates Science although she's good at it. Tatanungin ko na sana siya tungkol sa rason kung bakit ganun ang gusto niya ngunit agad din naman siyang nagsalita para dugtungan ito, "... na gwapo, matangkad, at talented."

Lumakas ang tawa niya nang marinig ang malalim na pagbuntong hininga ko. Minsan, ang sarap niyang batukan kahit sa huli ay napapangiti niya din naman ako. I would always smile... or laugh. No matter how silly the words that come out of her mouth, I would always do that. Because it's Maui.

"Kailan ka ba magseseryoso?" naiiling na tanong ko sakanya.

"Bakit? Seryoso naman ako sayo ah," she giggled when she said that.

I shook my head again, laughing. I knew what she feels towards me but I also knew why she's doing this right now. She wanted to lighten the mood between us.

I just told her I passed the UST entrance exam and got a full scholarship and allowance, which means I'll be leaving for Manila a few months from now once I accept that. Oo, hindi pa ako sigurado. It's an excellent opportunity but I was hesitant to go. I couldn't leave Maui here. She doesn't have a good relationship with her family at kapag umalis ako, siguradong malulungkot 'to... o baka ako? Kasi siya lang naman ang meron ako. Siya lang naman nag-iisang kasama ko mula noon. Maraming bata sa ampunan na nakasama kong lumaki but I never really felt comfortable doing everything with any of them. Not even with the adults. Maureen is my... only person.

"Light," tawag niya.

"Hmm?"

"Naniniwala din akong Chemical Engineer ang tatay mo," aniya. Natigil ako sa pag-iisip at tumingin sa gilid kahit hindi ko naman siya nakikita ng buo dahil nasa likuran ko siya. "And I also believe that you'll be greater than him," naramdaman ko ang pagbangon niya mula sa pagkakasandal sa likod ko.