My brothers best friends

Chapter 11 depression session

*mature content*

Alicia's POV
I called Ashton crying. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting at the end of my bed in a ball rocking back and forth. I was stressed out not knowing what to do. Ashton told me that Michael would only be mad if he hurt me but I doubt that I know Michael I have my whole life a boy has never made me feel like this. I've never felt happy about a boy I've never been scared of my brother not letting me date a boy I've never cried over knowing I can't date a boy. Oh what has luke done to me I just cry in little ball on my bed until I was asleep.

*Two days later*
is it's weird that I've been avoiding luke it's just a silly crush I'm going to have my heart broken in the end why not save tears. But I can't it's hard he's always hanging out with Michael or at band practice in the garage plus he calls and texts but I force myself to not answer it any of it I need to forget that ONE day I need to forget all the stupid little things like the way it felt to fall asleep next to him and the memories I never can forget. I wish this was all a dream cause I'm really not fine at all. The way he sings me to sleep and the way he knows. Oh yea he knows he probably hangs out with me because he felt sorry I run to the bathroom crying I grab my blade taped under the sink and grab the bandage from the cabinet I lock the door and sit on the sink and blast music and turn on the shower so Michael thinks I'm taking a shower I look at my scars, slice "whore" I whisper another slice "worthless" more and more slices " slut , stupid, fat ,ugly, wanna be, freak, not wanted , a mistake , And worst of all hated by everyone and anyone Michael doesn't even like you" I whisper I look at my arm bloody, red, puffy I deserved all of it. I've asked for this all I quickly wash it and put all my bracelets on. I walk out walking down to the kitchen I saw a note on the fridge ' had a band meeting please don't leave our property -Michael' why does he care if I get kidnapped again I'm worthless and hopeless I grab my camera and walk to the garage I set up my camera and grab my guitar a tape a piece of paper on the camera I have a YouTube but I don't show my face. "hey guys today I'm going to be singing kids in the dark by all time low " once I finish singing I say bye and I grab laptop and upload it after editing it I log into Twitter and scroll through all my hate "its all true every word" I said to myself. I'm done I can't anymore I just can't. I slam my computer screen down and throw it against the wall. It cracks and falls to the ground. I run to Michaels room and grab his stress pills. Yea we have stress problems. Probably because I cut a lot and stress about my parents. They abused us verbally.I opened the lid and dumped the whole bottle in my mouth and fell to the floor I cried out in pain on my chest breathing up and down heavily. I wanted more pain much more. I grab Michaels razor and take out the blade. I bring it up and slide it across my skin. I did it on both of my wrists and dropped the blade I fell on my side and cried. I heard footsteps coming from downstairs and voices. I didn't have enough strength to get up. I saw a figures standing by the door running towards me. I tried to scoot away but couldn't. I heard them say my name and shake me. My eyes slowly closed and everything went black.

Michaels POV
Me and the guys came home and heard the sink running and crys. Me and the guys ran upstairs and check Alicia's room. She wasn't there. I ran to my room and gasped. The guys followed me and covered their mouths. Luke started to cry. We ran to hear and she was breathing heavily. She layed in a puddle of blood and her wrists were scraped badly. I checked my mirror cabinet and my stress pills weren't there. I slowly turned my head to the bottle next to her. There were 20 pills in all and there was 2 left on the floor. I broke down in tears and fell to my knees. This is all my fault. The guys gave me a big hug and I cried. I called an ambulance and cleaned her up. I can't believe I made her do this.