NINE TIME MACHINES: Do you want to undo your entire life on planet earth?

CHAPTER 68

Sunday morning's sunrise brings with it a serving of clarity that I had never before chosen from the menu. It opens my eyes to a truth all of Leer Island needs to understand, that no barrier can hold forever. And that before veils get thin and fabrics are worn out, everyone should have a plan of escape. Whether with the shiny key or rusty one, it no longer matters. That's why when the grocery opens I race down the aisle, where that young man's hand brushed against mine, in search of my boxes. But they're gone now. So I hurry to the front to find help.

"Excuse me; I need to buy some boxes."

She doesn't even look at me. "Maxx, you got any more of those boxes?"

"I've got some soiled ones." Maxx peeps out to see who wants them. "I'll give her for free."

He doesn't have to say another word. I join him in the back, tiptoe through bags of rice and sugar, and grab as many boxes as I can tote. Then I hang my head low so no one can recognize who it was that moved from Owl through Granderson and Florence streets like a bum. For the first time, I understand why the familiarity of these walls offers Hazel so much solace, and for however long again, I too am ready to embrace it. Behind them everyone knows the real me; not the daughter of a famed daughter but a loser who can't make it on her own, a lone dolphin battling sharks, a failure amongst successes. They expect me to enter with damaged boxes. They expect me to be kicked out of my room, and not have the dignity that death gave to Debbie. They know that I'm going to lose at life no matter what options come my way.

Now if I can only make my way up those stairs to room seventy-nine, I'll pack all their beliefs and mine away. Then, if the pain insists on existing; I'll know that it's really over.