THE 33 KEYS: Key 2 - ANSWER THE CALL "Listen for that Perfect Beat"

CHAPTER 79: ROYALS ALWAYS RETURN

Now the emptiness I feel is worse than hunger. Yet, my knees never weaken. I'm so light that, when Kat releases my hand, I rise like a feather held up by gentle winds. Then she makes me see again. But not in time to escape the bolt. So now I'm collapsing, filled with warm light.

Sometime later, I awake, my body numb. I can move but I feel nothing. It's as if I'm above attachment. I hate this feeling. I want to return to the warmth.

"Hello."

Kat reappears before me transformed again. I feel as if I'm staring at a million galaxies. The dust from my fingertips returns and spirals around me. I reach out to grab one speck of it and yank my hand back; but there's nothing.

"Stop controlling everything!" I shout.

She laughs at my frustration then takes humanoid form, purple and blue dots floating around in silence.

"Come here."

I almost hesitate; then decide against it. I figure obedience is better than being blind again.

"Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to visit other worlds, Mary?"

"Yes," I say breathless.

"Then; wake up, Mary. Wake up and walk right in."

I enter the building of my own free will and hear a familiar beast growl. Apparently, its purpose was always to prevent me from finding the path which led to here. And now that I'm standing in the hallway of truth, it keeps nudging me to the right. Then, as a distraction, it strikes up a conversation.

"I've heard somewhere that this building is up for demolition."

"Really? It looks pretty stable to me."

"Well, my sources say it can cave in at any moment. We'd better get out before it's too late."

"No, I can't leave," I protest. "I'm looking for something."

"What are you looking for? Maybe it's something I can give you."

I stop in the hallway and stare the beast right in the eye.

"I remember you," I squeal. "The last time you led me to the wrong building."

"Didn't I feed you, clothe you, house you, and listen to you when you cried?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Then why would I lead you to the wrong building? Come now, Mary. It makes no sense."

"That's just the problem. You never let me do anything myself. I depend on you too much."

"Wasn't that a good thing? Just look how fine you've grown."

"Yes, I am grown now, aren't I?

"You'd be dead if it wasn't for me. Is this how you intend to repay my kindness?"

"I will thank you......for preserving me. Because of you I lived to be in this moment."

"Turn back, Mary." It grabs my arm. "The building can crumble at any minute."

"Not until I find what I came for."

"You won't find it here. Now the building with three levels, that's the one you need."

"I already tried. It flooded me out. My treasure's definitely not in there."

"Well, there's no treasure here either. You're just wasting time."

"No, I'm not. It's here. I can feel it calling to me."

"A treasure that leads to no title is no treasure at all. Now on my three levels you can get crowned."

"I don't need a title to know my true self. Even without your crown, I'll still be royalty."

"Trust me, Mary. You're searching in the wrong building. There's more than one level."

"I'm the only level I need. Now get out of my way! I won't put this off any longer."

"All right." The beast sighs. "At least let me help you. Look. That's the door over there."

"Which one?"

"The last one on the right."

"Are you sure?"

"I've travelled this path before. I know its truth," the beast babbles on. "But I just can't teach it, you understand. I can't share everything I know. After all, what good is a prison if you let everyone get their hands on the key, right?"

And then the beast walks with me until I get to the door, until I turn the knob and it knows for sure I've entered. The door opens easily into a small but familiar space, packed with cobwebs. Something tells me I've been here before. But there's no way anyone can possibly sleep in this space. It's even smaller than my Bunny House room.

I brush the cobwebs away to make sure I'm not judging it wrongfully. There's a doorway to the connecting room. From where I stand, I can see that someone tore the door off and left it on the floor. Curiousity does its thing on me like always. I simply can't resist the temptation to see what comes next. So I move towards the doorway, itself peering into other connecting rooms, all with their doors torn down.

Now I know for certain I've been here before. Just maybe it wasn't so dark.

Look, Mary. This is the perfect moment to turn around and run back outside. This is where you give up on finding your golden key.

Instead, I dismiss my inner voice. Then I swallow the fear and let its sugar become my motivation. But each connecting room I enter feels like I'm heading deeper into a prison. Getting lost in the maze of time. Walking into one wrong room after the other and not having the courage to end the journey. I pause for a breath and sit in one of the two chairs in the last room to think. What do people normally do when this happens? When they've had a bad experience? They hang the telephone up. Switch the channel. Leave any situation designed to chain them to the past.

What though have you been doing? And what have I also done all these years? I've been standing with a dead phone in my hand, that's what. Quarrelling with ghosts. Watching a channel I've outgrown. Reliving one hurt after another like I'm the queen of reruns. Letting all my bad experiences place pillows over my face and cut off my air supply.

So now I just need to evict all those versions of myself. Kick them out into the cold streets without mercy. Pull my many weak masks off and finally become the Mary-the-Great I crave.