❝P-please,❞ He whimpered, holding my hand over his erection. It was perfectly hard and ready for me, straining against his boxers in the most delicious way.
"What is it that you want me to do, baby?"
"Touch me," He moaned and drew his head back whe...
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Clover Vale turned me into a disgusting pervert. She managed to contort herself from the common devil she was, and deceived my eyes into believing she was a modern angel draped in golden white, pearls, and holy stones. My mind knew better, but my senses were too bound to come to the realization. They would never let her go. I always saw, smelled, and heard her when she wasn't even around.
Everything I'd ever studied fell into an illusion the moment she made her entrance, because the only thing I could truly discern was...her. Her eyes, her nose, even her lips and everything that fell below.
She was my favorite subject, unconsciously. I was familiar with her from head to toe, front to back, and from smile to fragrance. Her perfume was the only one that my nose could detect and enjoy, regardless of how potent another was. My favorite candle was no longer burning in my office, the air freshener plugged into the wall of my foyer had run out of oil, and I hadn't replaced it because its scent no longer provided the solace it once did. My bedsheets didn't smell like maple anymore and I didn't keep potpourri on my stove when I went to bed.
Why? Because I hadn't noticed that I'd stopped in the first place. I was too busy sniffing out Clover when she wasn't around that I hadn't noticed the loss of all things that were once a favorite of mine.
She was my new favorite. She was so possessive, and despite the many times I got to my knees and prayed for my God to lift whatever curse she put on me, I was still under her control. My body was under her control.
I couldn't stop thinking about her in the most disgusting ways whether she was around or not. Her breasts, her legs, even what was between them coursed my mind day and night. Especially what could have been hidden beneath the fabric between her thighs.
If God didn't strike me down for for having such thoughts, the devil would have. It was trifling of me. Disgusting. Religiously illegal and morally prohibited. What on earth would I, Orion Miller of Finewaters Academy, wish to see a girls undergarments for?
The answer was simple. It was because the first time I saw them I...I liked it. I wanted to touch her in places I shouldn't have and I was ashamed to admit it, but I was just curious. Curious because I was uneducated on certain matters and nothing else.
I'd never felt anything that I knew was so bad feel so good. Mother never told me that my body would start feeling things one day. She never warned me, but father had and I should have listened. He told me that if I fell into the trap of a girl, my body would face the consequences--but I hadn't fallen on purpose. It was instinctive. Whenever Clover came around, I was a stuttering idiot who couldn't keep his business down.
The sacred part of me reacted to her even when I didn't want to, and I didn't know how to get rid of it. However, Clover did. Clover was a girl who acted as if she knew nothing, but she knew so much. There were a lot of things she knew that I didn't, and that made her the tutor and me the tutee. She could teach me a few things, I knew, but what good could a girl like Clover Vale teach?
Every syllable that slipped through her lips as she spoke softly, "Mas·tur·ba·tion," sounded sinful. Her voice was so smoky and low that it made the most innocent things sound forbidden, but masturbation? Masturbation was something I knew meant something bad. Something profane. She made a sacrilegious word sound so much more disgusting it was holy.
But I was desperate. I wanted to get rid of the icky feeling she left me with once and for all. I was tired of making a fool of myself, which only seemed to happen when she was around. I wanted to...masturbate.
She made me want to masturbate even though I knew that it was not acceptable in the eyes of my mother. She made me want to disobey my mother...and father.
When I got to my room that night, I tried to find masturbation in the dictionary. I searched every word--every pronunciation--hoping that it went by a weird spelling rule when I couldn't find it, but, no. It was not there, and I couldn't help but think that my mother removed it on purpose.
Ever since Clover came back into my life, a lot of things that my parents had said and done failed to make sense to me any longer. I didn't know who or what to believe, because everything I once knew was crumbling into monstrous waves, and I didn't know whether to swim or let it take me in.
On one hand, my parents' teachings were coiling into fallacies...but on the other, it was Clover bringing them to light. A girl. Someone father said would use me to her advantage until I was no longer vulnerable but instead writhing in emotional pain.
Who was I supposed to believe? The girl, or the man who warned me about her?
