Lauren
Oh, Lauren. She was such a cool girl! Not amazing, but already better than the batch I met before. Artistic, funny blue-haired girl. Not only that, but she was also passionate about music.
When I downloaded Tinder again, in 2019, she's the first who talked to me. She found my profile funny, I found her nice. She was a university student, also part of a comity, which took half of her free time, but she didn't want to quit cause she didn't wanna fuck everything up there. I was at "college", after quitting 8 times and I was gonna leave this time again, but later.
When we met in real life, she was really quiet, very shy I'd say. We started drinking and she became less and less shy. Those moments, tipsy or whatever, were amazing. I like talking, and not alone, so it was cool. We weren't drunk at all, but we both saw something weird in the sky. Three rows of three long bright lines moving forward, then disappearing in the dark sky. We both had no explanation. I'm glad we both saw it, otherwise I would've thought I was crazy, but perhaps we were both. It wasn't the first time something weird happened, but that's for later.
It was late, we weren't close to her house, nor mine, but mine was closer. There was no bus, so we decided to both go at my house because she didn't have a lot of cash, and it was good that way.
My tinder bio had a joke on it, but also a small paragraph telling I didn't want to have a girlfriend, nor have sex, I just wanted a friend. We arrived home, went to bed. There was no plan to have sex. It felt bizarre to both sleep in the bed and not spoon, so I went like "Is it ok if we spoon?". She said yes. We both felt asleep.
We both woke up around 3 AM. I don't know what went on, but we jumped on each other and started fucking. I'm not against sex, but I'm so bad at it I didn't wanna meet someone only for that.
That was the start of us, as dating mates. It was ok because we were still free and didn't feel trapped in anything. We weren't a couple but even without really talking about it, we were exclusive. Probably because we were to ugly-ass hipsters.
We'd see each other frequently, she was cool! She was always shy, we'd always get drunk. She was super affectionate, though. She'd also always try to suck my cock. Like always. I was stopping her most of the time because I was feeling like it was weird, getting my dick sucked and that's it.
There weren't a lot of things I didn't like about her, but I wasn't a big fan of her art. I know it sounds dumb but art says a lot about someone, music tastes too. Her music tastes were fine, but it was always the same thing. I started joking about how all her favorite songs sounded like Twenty One Pilots. We had this collaborative playlist on Spotify, we'd put one song after the other in it. I knew she didn't like my music, unless it was exactly her style. I'd put songs I didn't love just so she doesn't feel like half the playlist is shit.
We were dating for a month and a half. We were fine most of the time and it was really a simple relationship. One day, I'd make her pick a card out of a deck and guess it. I noticed her card had a little white dot on it, so I knew which card it was. She was amazed. We did it again, and I guessed the right card twice on three shots. No white dot, I guessed them right for some reason. She wasn't bullshitting me because I'd ask her to tell me the card she picked, I would then throw them and pick one, and it was the one. I even put my finger on one, said it wasn't the right one but the one under, and it was. It's hard to explain but there was no way for me to know which card it was. It was just luck.
We stopped seeing each other for around a week, after a month and a half of seeing each other two to four times a week. We kept on texting but not a lot. I didn't feel so good about the relationship anymore. She didn't really do anything, but I was off.
No matter how the rest of this story looks, just know that I'm the asshole in this situation. I've always tried to make sure everybody knows we weren't official, that we stopped talking for a week or two, but I'm a fucking asshole, and I accept it.
One night, I received a message on Instagram. Some girl wanted to tell me something about one of my posts. I scrolled up, saw that we had a conversation in 2017. I realized we met on Tinder, back in 2017 before I deleted the app. I told her about it, she replied that she had no messages from then, so I sent her some screenshots. We started talking, we decided we could meet for fun.
We met, one night. We went on a walk then bought some alcohol. Some time later we were both drunk. She said she wanted me to go to her apartment with her. We both went. She offered me some weed, I took some. It was the third time in my life I would smoke weed, I've always tried not to take drugs until recently. I don't know what happened; I was fucked. Perhaps it wasn't only weed, perhaps it was because it hit for the first time. My teeth felt like fucking melting or something.
I sat on her bed, put some music on her TV. The Blaze's "Territory". I had to save that moment, cause I like to save such moments, so I started recording with Snapchat to save it to my memories. I don't know what went on, and it'll make me sound like an even worse asshole, but even if I didn't find that girl attractive, we started kissing and then we fucked.
I was gonna see Lauren the next day. I was going home when I received an Instagram message from Lauren. "Nice story" she said. "What story?" I replied, I had no story. She was talking about my Snapchat story. Fuck. 30 seconds of "Territory" on a TV, filmed on a bed which wasn't mine, along with a dark video with kissing sounds.
I sabotaged myself to get out of whatever was between Lauren and I. At least that's what I like to think. I like to think that I didn't wanna make her sad, so I'd make her furious? Writing this, it doesn't really make any sense, but what happened happened.
She stopped talking to me, I never talked with the other girl, and there was I, alone again.
