small stories.

Regret.

When I was in high school 3 years ago, me and my friend group of 4 used to bully the class nerd. He wore glasses, and was really thin. His name was Rowan. Rowan didn't have many friends but he had to girl friends, Brooklyn and Dani, whenever me and my friends were making fun of Rowan the girls would come and defend him. We ended up making fun of them too. Dani was non-binary so she dressed a lot like a guy, and her hair was really short. Brooklyn was a lesbian, so were Dani. We made fun of them for that.

-3 years ago.

"What's up lesbians? Here to save lil Rowan again?" My friend Ann said. 

"Someone has to be the good guys right b!tch?" Dani replied. "Don't test your luck with me." Ann said and pushed Dani. "Get your hands off her this instant." Brooklyn said. I knew Rowan was bisexual and was insecure about it, but yet I teased the sh!t out of him every day. Ann always fought with Dani and then Brooklyn would protect her. Me and the other two would always mess around with Rowan. Make fun of his looks, ruin his clothes, burn his note books, stuff like that. One day we went over the line.

"Who even uses this kind of bracelet when being a guy?" I teased Rowan, "Don't do anything to it Oliver." Rowan said while staring into my eyes. "Now now dude, I won't, oops" I said, dropping the bracelet on the ground and stomping on it till it broke. I bend down and looked at Rowans face. He looked shock, but his face quick turned sad, and then furious. "Oliver, what the hell did you do." Dani said looking at me madly. Brooklyn also looked at me, more furious than she had ever been when Ann made fun of Dani. "You went over the line this time Oliver." Rowan said. He got up on his feet and the girls both laid a hand on his shoulders. Their faces was filled with emotions, they looked sad. "That was the only thing I still had from my mother." Rowan said as tears flood down his cheeks. I was in shock, what had I done. Rowan turned around and stood for a second, he turned around quickly and kicked me in the face. I had never seen such anger. 

"Rowan stop, he's not worth it!" Dani said, pulling him back. Rowan had kicked me in the face twice, and I was bleeding. My friends were just looking in shock. "Let's just go Rowan." Brooklyn said. 

They turned around and walked away. When I got home my mom was sitting at the table waiting for me. She stared at the seat, to sign me to sit down. I sat. 

"Oliver. Your classmate Rowan." My mom said. 

"What about him?.." I asked.

"He committed su!c!de today." My mom said. Time froze, I was in shock. I had caused this. I was the one who drove him to do this. My mom went to work that night, and I heard knocking on my door, I opened to see Dani and Brooklyn standing there, tears rolling down their cheeks, they were furious at me. "I- I'm sorry." I said quietly. "I don't give a fuck if you are, you should've never bullied him in the first place." Dani said. "I know.." I whispered. Dani slapped me, harder than Rowan had kicked me that day, I fell to the ground. Tears rolled down my eyes, as I thought about what I had done. 

Till this day, it has still not stopped haunting me, I used to burn his stuff and sometimes even punch him for fun. If I had never bullied him, he would still be alive, and maybe had a amazing life now. But I ruined his chance by bullying him. I'm still in therapy, and I will never forgive myself for what I did.