Sore Loser

An End.

It's over.
...Its.. Over?

I stare at the towering screen in bitter disbelief. I already knew it to be true. He got almost two times as many votes as I did. After all this time... after 11 YEARS acting... it's over.

I think back to when I first got the job. Back when the Announcer ran the show. The idea intruiged all of us. The idea for a show that was a mix of reality and competition, and scripted acting. The idea of BFDI.

Things were so much easier back then. Not anymore.

I pry my eyes away and glance around the cerulean desert. Its quiet. Everyone else is asleep in the bus. And yet, here I am...

I'm drawn back to the screen. The votes so high they spill out and shoot into the sky. I feel a lingering sense of anger. How did he win? He barely has a personality. A gimmick. Anything interesting about him. HE wasn't even there when this started! HE doesnt deserve it. HE doesnt know ANYTHING about how much I-

I jump, suddenly aware to the pain in my hands. I realize I had my fists clenched, and my nails had been digging into my palms. I wipe away the slight blood and let out a slow sigh. I cant let this get to me. Its just a show. I've lost before. Its just a show. Shows come to an end, and someone has to win. Its just a show.

It still hurts.

--{☆★☆}--

I wake up on the roof of the bus. I dont exactly remember falling asleep here, but I've been feeling off anyways, so I brush it off. I look down to see Lollipop, Gelatin and Leafy chatting. Everyone else is in their own little groups, as usual. It would be a few days until we got our next script, so in-between episodes we'd have nothing to do but wait. I grin to myself and hop off, running up to Leafy and planting a kiss on her cheek. She jumps at first, but when she sees its me her face lights up and she pulls me close.

"TD!! Good morning!" She seems happy, as usual. I notice Gelatin hop in the bus, and Lollipop follows, pausing in the doorway.

"Tearster, the three of us are heading off to the II set to catch up. Wanna come with?" She says, stepping aside as Leafy softly takes her hand off my side and steps in. II was another show, similar to ours- Ours is closely tied to theirs, with cameos and such. (I heard Nickel even acts there, too!) I excitedly nod and hop on, too. I try to keep my eyes off Gelatin, but he doesnt seem to notice.

Leafy pulls me into a seat, and starts chatting about something or other. Even though I cant keep track of what she's on about this time, I like hearing her talk. Sometimes, I cant believe she wanted to be with me. She's pretty, and kind, and smells nice...

Well, I could keep going all night.

Its night?

I snap out of the slight trance I had been in and realize we finally reached a stop. Gelatin hopped out immediatly and ran off towards the hotel- He liked to hang around YinYang. Leafy and Lollipop hung behind with the bright lights, the two groups catching up on eachothers shows. In the excitement, I snuck away to the forest, as usual. It was pretty dark, but at this point I knew the way from memory. Eventually I got to the clearing and saw her sitting there, reading something. She looked up at me and grinned, putting down her magazine and offering a warm cup of tea.

"Hello again, TD! Tea?"

I sit on the stump next to taco, taking the tea and blowing on it slowly before taking a sip. Taco is.. Interesting. She was originally a competitor on II Season One, and pretended to be a lot dumber than she was. After her reveal in the finale, she was practically shunned, and was kicked off the show. II was supposed to be a lot more scripted in the second season, and they didnt want her to ruin anything- However, when she appeared again without the producers knowing in S2, the storyline was too good to lose, so she was technically aloud to join- Granted, it was without pay, and she still had to hide in the forest, but she seemed content. I could never.

"Oh, I have news for you! Recently our episode 14 came out! I must say, the plotline is truely getting interesting for once.. Those braindead producers have finally started learning! I am a bit disapointed that they made Mic's character end up hating me, but I suppose it makes sense for the show. I cant wait for 15!" She talked with her hands and, even in the dim light, I saw something shine. I pointed at it, trying to look as confused as possible so my point got across. She grinned widely.

"Oh, did you notice? Mic finally put a ring on it!" She winked and held her hand out so I could see. The ring was silver, and had a small musical note charm. I stared, stunned and excited. I hadnt thought of it before, but it was interesting to see how peoples on-screen personas or characters were different from their real selves. Of course, it meant the public never saw the full truth, but who cares? It wasnt for them.

It took me a minute to realize I was zoning out. To show congratulations, I looked up and clapped for her. She started chuckling. "Ah, only kidding! Its just a promise ring. If she really had got down on one knee, I'd already be asking you to be my bridesmaid." I laughed as she elbowed me.

"Anyhow... Oh, Your show! The Semi-Finals were a few days ago... I assume you beat that Jello-brained idiot, right?" She said, somewhat expectant and somewhat hopeful. I hesitated, gripping tighter on the cup, before shaking my head in a solemn no. She seemed just as shocked as I initially was.

"What? Tearsy, thats bullshit! You seriously let the kid beat you?" She paused as she saw me looking shameful, cleared her throat and tried again. "Yaknow, maybe you should take after yours truely! When I didnt win, you know what I did? I just became the VILLAIN Instead!" She jokingly gave her best evil laugh- It wasnt all that good. She passed me something I couldnt quite make out at first, but after a moment I realized it was her ray gun.

In a panic I dropped it, standing up. If I... did that, it could be final. Announcer and X couldnt revive people on their own, and Four was still the desert. New recovery centers took too long, and since nobody was planned to die in the last two episodes, the Announcer hadnt ordered a new one. I could... Kill. Taco rolled her eyes. "Jeez, I'm not forcing you into anything. Just a suggestion."

"TD? TTDDD?"

I panic as I hear Leafy through the trees. I wave goodbye to Taco, but find myself hesitating.

WHAT are you THINKING?

I kick the gun and run off. I cant... I shouldnt.

I meet back up with leafy and the others, but in the back of my mind I swear I heard her laughing as we drove off.

--{☆★☆}--

Its night again when we come back. Lollipop drove, and fell asleep almost immediatly after we got there. Leafy was already asleep, and a few others climbed in for the night. I tried to sleep, to no avail. Gelatin was going on and on about his nerves now that he was in the final two. His voice felt like needles on my skin. I hated him more with every word, even if I knew it was unethical.

Its too suffocating in here... I need fresh air.

I take a step out, and let out a quiet shriek as I feel something stab my foot. I immediatly cover my mouth, but leaning into the bus, nobody seemed to hear. When I looked down, I saw that I had stepped on a silver Knife laid on the ground. My heartbeat quickens. Nobody is around. I dont see footsteps- Well, maybe a pair, but considering they were parallel and there were only two, I assumed it was from earlier when someone came in. The blade was dull, and the smell of rust. Or, was that-?

I drop the knife in horror. A thousand thoughts flood into my head at once.

Dont think that-
He should-
Is she-?!
What is this-?!

DO IT.

I jump, a headache spreading from my forehead. In the corner of my eye, I spot the screen again, illuminating the dark desert. A smile spreads across my face.

This was left for me.
I know it.
This is my way to redeem myself.
She was right.
I can do this.
...I. Can do this.

I pick up the knife and head back in the bus to wake up Gelatin.