What is Love?

Rain and Clouds

I like rain.

I like how it can make me calm.

The sound of the rain, hitting the Earth's surface, sounds like music to me.

I never stopped getting amazed at how rain patch up all the noises in my surroundings. Pag umuulan, hindi ko naririnig ang mga sinasabi ng iba. Natatakpan ng mga patak ng ulan ang mga salitang binibitawan nila.

I like rain because it keeps on reminding me that I can be like rain too.

Na kung hindi ko na kaya ang bigat, pakawalan ko na. Kung nahihirapan na ako, okay lang na bumitaw ako.

Ngunit kagaya ng ulan, sa oras na bumagsak lahat ng kinikimkim ko, may masasaktan ako.

The moment I chose to let go of these feelings, I also chose to hurt the people around me.

"I can't be with you anymore." I blankly said to Vaster, my boyfriend for almost 4 years.

"C'mon, Claudine. What did I do this time?" Instead of answering his question, I just stare at him.

Naalala ko siguro 'yung una naming pagkikita. It was raining back then. I'm in my last year of senior high school. Medyo late natapos ang lecture namin kaya't sobrang hassle ng pag-commute.

I checked my cellphone to see what time it was.

5:39PM.

Madilim na ang kalangitan at nagsisimula na rin pumatak ang ulan. I still remember how I felt back then, I'm so pissed because I just bought new shoes and that's what I'm wearing at that time.

Nang maaninaw ko na ang paparating na jeep ay agad ko ng tinaas ang kamay ko para parahin ito. Nang makitang unti-unting bumabagal ang takbo ng jeep, sinara ko na ang payong ko para mag-ready na sumakay.

I was about to walk when someone ran past behind me. He accidentally bumped into me, making my umbrella slip on my hands.

Hindi ko na lang sana papansinin kaso, na-realize ko na sumakay siya sa jeep and what's worse is, the jeep left me! That seat is for me, asshole!

Sa sobrang pagka-badtrip ko, I looked for him the next day. Hindi ako kumakain sa canteen pero this time I will just to look for that man!

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto ang tinagal ko sa canteen bago ko siya makita. He was laughing with his friends like there's no tomorrow. Typical boys, so noisy.

Siguro, hindi ako nag-iisip nang tama noong mga panahon na 'yon dahil na rin sa inis ko sa kaniya. I don't even remember how I walked so fast to the point that in just a few seconds, I'm already beside him.

Nang makatabi ako sa kaniya ay buong lakas ko siyang siniko sa tagiliran.

"Aray! Kingina–" I saw how his face crumpled and showed a pained expression. He even covered the side I hit with his two hands, still, I don't give a fuck.

"That's for yesterday. You didn't even say sorry when you bumped me tapos you even snatched the jeep I called?! Fuck you!" Pagkatapos noon sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at nilayasan.

I'm satisfied with that. I'm always like that. Once I take my revenge, okay na ako. I will completely forget what they did to me since I believe that I already got what I want.

Everything was normal until that day. Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagsimula na hanap-hanapin ng mga mata ko si Vaster. It feels like my day isn't complete if I don't see his face.

Sa pagkakaalala ko, umuulan din noong araw na 'yon. That one day that changed our relationship.

It was raining heavily. The sound of the rain drops would be perfect if I wasn't waiting for a jeep to come by. Poor rain, I should be enjoying this coldness with a coffee in my hand. Yet here I am, feeling pissed because there's no sign of a jeep coming this way.