Bench

26 | Closure

During class we had to sit next to our partners to discuss our projects while the professor goes around to some groups that may need help or have questions.

Dae is on his phone searching more ideas on google. I'm opening random pages of who knows what to make it seem like I'm thinking of ideas as well but I need to talk to Dae.

"Sooo.....about yesterday." I say turning towards him

"It's okay honestly, I get your mad at me. I don't blame you." Looking at his phone he says

"I just want to ask, what's your deal? Like what's going on with us?"

"Us? Was there ever an us?" Putting his phone down looking at me he says

I didn't want to seem irritated and mad even though I was so I just sucked it up and talked calmly.

"Whatever we were, don't you think I needed an explanation to all the shit you've done." Scrunching my brows I say

"I mean I may have slept with another girl while I was talking to you yah but it was nothing."

"So all of a sudden your acting as if we were just a friends with benefits situation? Are you fucking kidding me Dae?" Softly I say

"I really don't want to talk about this while we are in class so could you just chill."

"I don't why your acting so clueless and ignorant Dae. Your a fuck boy and you know that." I say putting my things in my backpack

If this is what I have to deal with then I wouldn't want to work with Dae. I walk to the professor and asked if I could have a different partner. He looked confused to why I would want to but I told him it's just not working and I need someone who is determined to do well in this project as much as I do. So he bought it and ended up partnering me with Monica who apparently is in need of a partner since she just joined our class. For Dae I could care less what my professor does with him.

After class I went outside and sat down on one of the benches. Eating a snack I packed this morning. Sliced apples coated in chewy caramel. Eating my apples I see a figuring come towards me on the left side of my eye.

"Wtf Jackielyn!" Dae says standing in front of me

I put my caramel apple back in the container after taking a bite.

"What?" Cluelessly I say chewing

"Why did you tell professor I wasn't cooperating? Now I have to do this project by myself and I have to be the first one to present." Madly he says

"That's great isn't it. I mean I'd rather have you do that then be partners with you." I say

He stays quiet for a second and then sits next to me.

"You know why I've been all over the place? To why I've been hiding everything from you?" Looking upset he says

"Why?..." turning to him I ask

"Because you've been in my mind. I never knew how to express my feelings or emotions because when I'm around you I just feel frozen. Ever since I met you I knew you were different, I knew I had to change my ways to get to you. Your a hard to get girl Jackielyn. You don't just let guys fuck you over. So I needed time to get a grip of all my shit. So I'm sorry if I hurt you, made you feel like I've lead you on, and just screwed everything we had." Sadly he says

Hearing Dae spill all he wanted to say to me made me feel relief. Like somewhere in the blurriness of everything it became clear. In my mind this was the closer I needed but I'm not sure if he had the the closer he wanted from me.

"I...I....I'm speechless. Everything I wanted to hear that I've been questioning this whole past couple of weeks. I also want to apologize to how I reacted and behaved towards you. It was immature and unneeded but I'm glad you opened up to me today." Lightly smiling I say

"I just hope we are better now. I know it's been a roller coaster but I'm willing to keep things slow. I'm not mad I'm not partners with you anymore but more glad because I know I could possible learn something out of this." He says

Later on we agreed to stay as friends, nothing more nothing less. It was something we both knew was for the best. He was focusing on himself and so was I but not entirely.