The Boy And The Wolf

Magic

The world has only ever been so big in my eyes. The mountains were the biggest thing I knew as a child. Standing straight up towards the sky, blocking the sun, as it rises in the east and moves westward across the sky. Its blue tinted triangles could be seen miles away from my home. I would sit on top of my fathers shoulders and reach for the sky as though I was as tall as the mountain we stood upon, I knew in my heart, there was something more.

There was something my eyes continued to search for but could never find. My eyes deceived me but my heart never did. I felt the magic of the world around me, the same magic every child holds before... well before the happening of reality. We are all too familiar with the weight of reality and what it costs to finally sink into it. I might have held onto that magic longer than most did, almost refusing to pry open my fingers and let it slip away.

You could always find me searching for it, under every rock, behind every flower petal or moss covered tree bark. I looked and searched for what my heart believed in. And for a long time the magic rested there, in the pit of my chest, begging to be discovered. No matter where, I played into this magic, believing that the only way I would ever find the secrets of the forest was to treat them as though they were already there. As if the creatures of the forest would respect my practices and finally introduce themselves to me. "What a special child!" they would have thought, "her nobility and respect for magic is seldom, we shall break traditions at once and reveal our true nature!".

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as I pranced upon giant rocks and climbed trees barefoot like the wild girl I was. I howled and screamed into the air like an animal feeling freedom in its true form. For a long time a wild animal is what I longed to be. I could tell that animals saw the world around me with more magic and sentiment than I ever could. I longed to see through their eyes and feel through their paws, to know what it felt like to sprint through a forest and not trip over a branch, to see everything as it was. To not have to constantly search for the magic but to already be a part of it. Many nights I would have dreams that simulated this feeling.

I would search through the forest for tiny treasures that would be the foundation of my 'fairy' sanctums, as I was sure the 'fairies' were the messengers and watchers of the magical beings that rested in the forest. I had wanted to win them over to be sure the creatures would hear good things about me and maintain a good image of who I was. Magical politics is something I thought I knew all about. Searching for small stones or rocks I would also find broken glass, most likely left behind from teenagers. I would find pretty flowers and mossy grass that I thought was perfect for little fairy feet to rest upon. Any items or objects that seemed to be conductors of magic were all retrieved by my chubby little hands. I would build palaces for the secret creatures of the forest and would leave many gifts for them in hopes to catch a glimpse of their being one day. Magic was the center of who I was as a child.

As I began to grow and attend school with all the other kids my age, my social skills were put to the test. I was used to the outside. Used to expressing myself with no fear or restrictions. This was not always optimal when surrounded by children who had very different opinions of the world than I did. Being different had been a setback in the society that was elementary school. The result of these conditions was a newfound shyness. A feeling entirely new to me as a person, something I just wasn't used to, which scared me. Amongst all this new angst a silver lining had found me hidden in the crowd, his name was Greyson.