Chapter 1

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WARNING: Triggers. They won't last for very long, they're there just to set the mood for this fanfic. Happier events will come later :D

~Q

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Niall ran into his hotel room, making sure to lock the door behind him. With One Direction becoming more and more popular, he was lucky he didn’t have to share rooms with his other band mates anymore. He slid his red polo shirt off, throwing it onto the bed and hurried to the bathroom. Hotels built for celebrities always seemed to have massive mirrors. He stared at his reflection, and realized he had nothing. No six-pack or abs to make him hot, no tattoos to give him a “bad boy” look. Just a skinny figure due to his high metabolism. The haters usually commented more about his face, so yes, something happened today. It was little pokes at first that made Niall squeal. All the boys laughed, and it was a funny feeling, so he joined in as well. At lunch however, Louis’ pokes became closer to his stomach rather than his hips. There was even a time when Louis jabbed so hard at his stomach that he choked on his food. Liam kindly patted his back, but for once, Niall found he couldn’t finish his lunch.

His thoughts returned to the figure in the mirror. He stared at it intensely, almost wishing a miracle could happen, like he could switch bodies with a fitter looking person. It was Louis that made Niall realize he wasn’t funny; now he’d help Niall realize that he truly was what the haters had called him: ugly. Niall shook his head frantically, no, that wasn’t true! In 2012 he’d managed to sell more Niall dolls than Harry dolls, surely that meant something! Until it dawned on him: dolls. That’s what they were, dolls, cleverly crafted by some designer and probably mass produced in a factory in China. Of course Niall doll had to be perfect to sell; they probably took the most time in perfecting it as the person had so many flaws. His eyes drifted to his manual razor. No! He couldn’t! Could he? If he did this, he’d lose to all his haters. They would want him to cut and feel more pain. But…it was something that his closest band mate even showed he wanted him to do. Niall decided to treat it as an experiment. If it helped take all the emotional pain away, it was worth something. If it made everything hurt even more, then he’d stop. It was simple.

Hands shaking (he was bare-chested in a bathroom and British weather was often cold), he clicked open the manual razor to remove the razor blade inside. Starting from the area that Louis had jabbed him the hardest, he draw a diagonal line. Immediately blood began to pour out, making him feel the most immense pain – possibly even more painful than that time he injured his knee playing football. For a split second he regretted cutting, until he a felt…a calming feeling. He cut three more lines, so that there were two on each side of his stomach, representing the four boys that had laughed at him this morning. Although, he couldn’t blamed them. It was quite funny, seeing someone squeal. Taking the bandages the hotel provided, he cleaned up his cuts, walked to his room and fell asleep immediately on his bed, the cuts making him feel slightly dizzy.

Louis hadn’t seen Niall since lunch ended. There was something slightly strange about the boy – he’d never leave his food unfinished! Louis shrugged off his hunch; the blonde boy probably had a big, big breakfast or something. Besides, Niall wasn’t his problem. Daddy Direction could go and look after him. Tonight, Louis was going to spend his night with Harry, watching a movie or possibly just doing nothing. Either way, it was going to be fun. Every minute Louis spent around Harry was fun, the Cheshire boy just had his way of charming Louis with his curls, his accent, his green eyes, the way he sometimes talked –

BUZZZZZ.

Louis took his phone out of his trouser pocked, and rolled his eyes at the caller ID. Management, hooray hooray. He’d just try to get this over with.

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