Dru's Secret

How it Began

Lend me your ear

And I'll tell you

The things i fear

Lend me your heart

And I'll tell why

I'm torn apart

I suppose you are wondering how,why and when this terrible secret of mine actually manifested...if it was me reading this I soo would but its not because I'm the one writing it,anyway it started the day I was born,sounds silly I know

You see my parents Byleth and Mary didnt want anymore children,they already had Arie my sister and they were happy and then BAM I arrived

Dru Knight

24th June 1967

7lb 9oz

06:40

That day should've been my parents second wait no third happiest day of their lives,marriage,Arie,Me? but sadly no.

Anyway I started this diary to try and make sense if it all I also started self harming

I suppose to escape the continues problems at home.

Well here goes...

Day 1:

Arie and mom started on me today,I'm not sure as to why though..oh no wait, yes,yes I do...they dont like me much. Arie always calls me a weirdo I mean since when have I ever been a weirdo?

Anyway Arie got so mad at me she literally ripped the phone from the wall and threw it at me as though she was pitching a baseball (since when has my sister been remotely interested in sports?) this whole experience really scared me.

Day 2:

Mom was admitted to hospital today..the doctors said something about her having Lupus I guess it means she's having a mental breakdown.

Dad and Arie both say it's because of me so i guess no matter what I do or even attempt to do it'll always be MY fault so I've written my current feelings down below kind of poetic form...

MY WORLD:

My world is full of anger

My world is full of pain

My world is full of helpless cries

I'm screaming out in pain

My world is full of suicide

My world is full of cuts

My world is full of hurting myself

My world is full if blood

My world is full of violence

My world is full of wars

My world is full of self destruction

There's nothing to live for

My world is full of death

My world is full of doom

My world is full of mass destruction

The end is coming soon

Tears are falling down my cheeks

But my tears are red

All my life I've suffered

All my life I've bled

Now I sit here silent

My hands holding my head

As I sit here crying

I cry tears of blood.

How ironic is that...I became the person I am today to prove my so called family and my demons wrong. I thought that if I did some good then maybe just maybe my life would be happier...so I enrolled onto a film/directing course here at Hawkins High (yes I'm at school and have been for a while)

Finally in my life I have a group of friends that actually like and accept me for who I am- well except for Robin she seems to like toying with me but its cool we have a special friendly understanding. If only they knew my past then they probably wouldn't want to associate with a weirdo like me.

I'll be honest I still self harm just not as regular as I used to but I still feel uneasy and slightly guilty about what happend after class the other day,you see my best friend Steve asked me again why I always wear long sleeves...I I couldn't give him an answer because if In did then my disgusting and shameful secret would be out in the open reducing me to that scared and vulnerable girl I once was all over again and I cant risk that.

Luckily for me I keep you well hidden diary so when Steve,Eddie and Robin do pop round after school they wont ever find you therefore never discovering my secret or my little friends(my razors).Steve came close to finding THEM the other day I thought that hiding them in the drawers in the base unit of my bed was a safe option...obviously not.

Anyway Diary I should be going now I have another wound to secretly dress and I'm dangerously late for school.

'What-Up' Dru.