I really don't know how I feel but it's horrible to see myself in the mirror and want to cry, treating my family badly because of my problems. It's also ugly to feel that you don't fit in anywhere because of how you are, I probably don't meet the standards of this society, maybe I'm too short, I don't have very pretty eyes, a perfect nose or how I would like to have it, I don't have a pretty profile, and many more things that do not need to be detailed. I live constantly comparing myself with people in my social environment, people from the same place as me and even with someone I see only on networks, that is, a famous person. I realized that I don't have something of my own, something that represents me and thus makes me "happy" or raises my self-esteem a little, I always try changes that are resembling someone in something, especially physically. Ever since I saw an idol in a photo, she seemed like a very pretty girl, the worst thing I could do was start comparing myself to her and wanting to have something the same, I started with small things, I put on makeup like her, I keep doing this and it's quite ugly see the result because clearly there is no resemblance. Many can laugh at this, that I compare myself to a girl I haven't even seen in person. A few years ago I started to worry about how my body looked, I wanted to be skinny even though I already was, I wanted to keep my weight down and I even wanted to lose weight, I don't deny that I still want to. Lately I try to control it because I know that I can end badly, I'm doing quite well.
