Dear Baby - woosan

guilt-ridden

⚠️signs of depression⚠️

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Still in the operating room, Wooyoung was injected with a strong painkiller after his son had been taken away to give him a thorough check up. He wasn't in a lot of pain thanks to the painkillers and was taken to a room where he could rest. He knew his body would be starting to feel the after-effects of the local anesthetic soon and he wasn't sure if he would like it.

"How are you feeling?" San combed his fingers through Wooyoung's thick hair. He took care of him, brought him everything he needed and what he wanted but Wooyoung had been unusually quiet this whole time.

"You sure you don't want to look at her at least once?" San suggested knowing Wooyoung would have a hard time otherwise.

"I would love to see her to say goodbye but I just can't bring myself to do it..." Wooyoung had had the opportunity to see his little princess but when would see her lifeless body he didn't know if he could handle it. San, on the other hand, had said his farewell to her. It was really, really hard for him to see his daughter like that. Unresponsive and cold. Even though it was their first meeting, he had already loved his little dumplings in Wooyoung's womb so much. Both of them.

Slowly but surely, reality was sinking in on them and once the police urgently wanted to speak to the couple as they desperately needed information about his family as they were all in custody and were not saying a word, Wooyoung realized just how fucked up his surroundings were. How fucked up life was where he had forced his son into.

After half an hour of interrogation with the police, there was a knock on the door and a nurse brought in their son after he was given his thorough examination. He was sound asleep.

"Sorry to be bothering but I just wanted to bring him into your room. Could you maybe give me a name for him so that we can arrange the paperwork?" She asked nicely and the couple looked at each other sadly. Sure, they had thought of names but they would never have thought to be only naming one of the twins.

"Sure, it's Sihun, Choi Sihun!" Both said in unison, making the nurse smile brightly.

"Alright! Then everything is done for today, I'll come back first thing in the morning and then I'll show you how to deal with the sweet treasure's needs correctly!" She said goodbye when San looked at his watch and realized it was really getting late.

San lay down in bed with Wooyoung and cuddled him from the side. Even though San only spoke praising words the whole time, things like how well he did and how perfect and beautiful he was, Wooyoung seemed to be absent. His eyes kept wandering to the small crib that was in the room with them. San noticed this and put a hand on the forehead of his exhausted boyfriend.

"Would you like to see him?" San asked with a slight smile on his lips even if he was just putting it on. It was hard to concentrate on one feeling at a time. Sadness and happiness were putting up a fight against each other inside him.

"No." Wooyoung said without hesitation. San accepted this somewhat perplexed but thought nothing of it and continued to gently comb his fingers through Wooyoung's hair.

"You should get some sleep. The day was very tiring and shitty enough. Tomorrow will hopefully be better!" San tried to encourage him although he knew that their grief and mourning hasn't really set in yet and that it would eventually come.

Wooyoung nodded slightly and turned his back to San and tried to sleep. Sleep, however, unfortunately did not come, not even when he heard San snoring softly behind him. His gaze focused on the baby crib where their son slept peacefully.