𝙎𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖 | EulAmber

Social Media

Amber was typing a fitting caption for her post. It was hard to find the right words. Coming out over an Instagram post wasn't the best idea perhaps. She picked up a ceramic cup filled with tea and took a sip. Her eyes wandered over the few letters which took her so much time.

'my girlfriend!!''

Amber seriously had no clue how to fucking write. Should I write a coming out message or just leave it like this..? She took another sip from her cup and sighed deeply. "this bullshit makes me wanna commit.."
Whatever... Yolo I guess.
Amber clicked on 'post' and saw it a few seconds later on her feed. Instant regret formed inside if her and she felt small.

Eulas POV

I sat outside in a parking lot and smoked my daily cigarette(s). My phone vibrated and I got a notification from Amber's Instagram. I didn't look at it.

My ass was hurting from the cement I was sitting on. I used the dark screen of my phone as a mirror and fixed my appearance a little.
My hair isn't as blue as it used to be a few days ago. I need to dye it again.

I stood up and streched my legs. I'll take a walk...

The ally I was walking down, was linied with neat pretty trees. The first leaves have turned brown already. I really like fall. I smiled to myself. Nature is beautiful, we should appreciate it more.

A few girls from my school passed me and stopped their giggling suddenly and gave me weird looks. I wasn't surprised. Most people don't like me anyway.
I rolled my eyes and ignored them.

Just a few meters ahead I encountered another group of students. It was the baseball team. Amber cheerleads for them.

They were chatting and laughing, but suddenly stopped when they saw me to give me disgusted looks. I swear I heard one whisper a slur.

Okay... Strange ass day... I plugged my headphones in and listened to korn.

I was now at a playground. It looked pretty much abandoned. I debated whether I should  smoke another cig or smoke another j.

I was leaning against a climbing frame as I opened Instagram to finally see what amber posted.

And when I tell you that my body froze.
It was the selfie Amber took of us yesterday with the caption "my girlfriend!!" So that's probably why people were looking at me weird.
To me personally, it wasn't even that bad. I mainly worried about her reputation.
But on the other side, I'm not her. I don't know what she's ready for and what not. Still, I felt the strong urge to hide our relationship.

I started trembling and frowned. It's really cold today is it not?

I pulled out my papers and weed, probably out of despair. My fingers were freezing and it started to slightly rain. A few tears slipped out of my eyes, wetting my gloves. I barely ever cried, why was I getting so emotional?

Bestcheerleaderev3rr: Heyy can I come over??

I just send my location without a second thought and moistened the glue stripe with my tongue. I closed it and sat under the roof of some kind of picknick table.

My joint slowly burned down as I took a drag from it.
This is turning into an addiction for real. I couldn't even get enough from it, as if my whole life envolved around this silly little thing.

I looked at my phone, specifically at the app Instagram. It has bought me so many emotions. The effect of social media has is insane.

"Eula?" I turned to were the voice came from. Amber stood there with an umbrella in her hand and ruined makeup.

I huffed. "I'm guessing your outing didn't age well." She looked like she was about to cry. Probably again. "Come here." She rushed under the roof and sat closely next to me. "What have I done..?" Asked she with a broken voice. I put my arm around her, "shh... Don't cry. No matter how much these people hate you, I will always stay by your side." I tried to sound though, but I probably sounded just as lost.
The weed was still clouding my mind and stimulatung my senses. I couldn't even think straight and wanted to give someone advice. Makes sense.
"Why are your e-eyes so red?" Her empty gaze stared into my dull eyes, waiting for a response.
"Uh- I also cried a little." She raised her eyebrow and slowly glanced at the fucking j which was still in my hand, almost gone now.
"What? That's a cigarette." She still wouldn't believe me and tried to grab it to probably test if I was lying. "Hey- what are you doing-"
She forced me to lay down and supported herself on the wood next to me. She managed to grab it and turned around to take a drag. "Eula... This isn't a cigarette... Cigarettes don't have this kinda effect..." She took another drag. "Yeah yeah.. Busted." I rolled my eyes and sat up straight again.
I hesitated when she took ANOTHER drag. "You like this huh?" I wanted to smirk but I was too down. She looked at me with her despair-filled eyes and finished the j. "Make another one." I furrowed my eyebrows. "I think it's en-" "we can share." I got straight to work.

I've gotten pretty good at rolling joints and I was hella proud of it. "Wow, you're not bad." Said my girlfriend. "Practise makes best." She laughed and snatched it from my hands a millisecond after I finished. "You sure are something.." she lit it and took a drag, "I don't want to go to school tomorrow." She laid her arms on the table and rested her head on it. The joint was slowly burning down as I watched the sad girl.

"I'm so sorry Amber. I don't think my words will cheer you up much, but just so you know; I love you. I love you so much." I took a pause. She didn't move. "I think you're the only person I even love. You're the only ond who didn't only want sex."
She turned to me, the only part of her face visible was her left eye. "Why do you look like you couldn't care less." She sat up again. "I do care. I mean- I have still other friends and my parents love me and shit, but you're my favorite person." "For real? It's hard to belief." I chuckled and shook my head lightly. "But I'm not lying. I am serious, Eula."

She touched my leg lightly and moved closer to me. "You're deep inside that abyss of despair, ice and loneliness. But I swear, I'll do anything to help you feel better. You've made me feel and experience stuff I've never had before. To you you're nothing special, but to me you're so goddamn important. If I would hear that you've died or something, I would kill myself on the spot." Her eyes stared into my soul. She was trying her best to read me, her brown eyes scanning my face for any reaction.
"Amber, I..." I'm really bad with emotions and words. Actions speak more then my meaningless words ever could. I slowly leaned in for a kiss. She melted into it. The kiss was beautiful. Different from the usual kisses I do.

Nothing sexual or joking, just pure love.