+*+* Chaos Is Beautiful +*+*

Chaos Can't Be Changed

To the beautiful people reading this cringey thing I call a fanfic

After I'm done with this book, I'm planning on starting another one.

It has a great storyline and so far, is going good with my planning but I don't know if should use original characters or dnf.

Dnf would have a strong build. It was the original ship for it but then things grew.

I may do an original one side to side with a dnf fanfic, or I could just do another beeduo one.I would really appreciate some opinions on this.

Thank you so much <33

And for today a bit of a surprise, here's some

+*+* Ranboo Pov +*+*

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TW Drinking And Slight Abuse* (This was not originally part of the book, but I just was like ~ lEs gO with tHe flOw ~)

*It is not physical. It's verbal.

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This can't actually be happening right? My life was better before this. Why did this have to happen. Shit shit shit.

That's all I could think while heading home. My scooter was the only noise that interrupted my thoughts and even then, I couldn't push the one thought on the tip of my head.

Did I regret it?

This is the question that has been in my head for the past 2 years of my life. I never knew regret was so powerful. Maybe if I had another chance, I could figure this out. If I cared or not. Regrets or not.

But the chance is lost. It was lost long ago. When he left me.

No, he didn't leave me. I left him. In such a cruel yet simple way. I always wondered how he reacted to the breakup. I'll never get to know though.

Maybe if I had cared a bit more. Maybe if I had thought about it more, I would have figured out that I would be questioning my every move after that.

I reached home. No not home. It was never home. It would never be home. Home is where your family is, your love is. None of that was here.

I stop and park the bike near the front of the house. It was night now. Darkness took over the sky. Before I would be so happy to reach home. To receive that sappy look from him and get kisses all over my face but now the only thing I came home to was a mistake.

I step up the stairs of my little house at the end of the street. Abandoned near the forest, I found it. We had no money then. Not him and I. I'm talking about Ethan and me. The biggest mistake I've ever made will always be Ethan and me.

I used to be so happy and up - lifting but because of this mistake it's all been stolen from me. I dread to knock on the door, fear filled me. What if he was drunk again?

Well, if he was, I'd be in deep shit.

I opened up the door slowly, but it was old. Like really old so, naturally it creaked. I entered the room. I don't know how but somehow it was colder inside the house than the outside. Probably because of the open window. Or because of the people who lived here. Probably both.

I look around to check for any damage, but it wasn't too much this time.

Bottles. Everywhere. That was the only problem. Worst part is that almost every one was empty.

How the hell did I end up here? Why did I end up here?

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I leave my bag and keys on the kitchen counter. Well technically it was a large shelf, but I used it as a kitchen counter. I've always thought that whenever I described my small cottage it sounded like it was a rundown dumpster.