What is Love?

Tahanan - Part Two

"STOP crying, Caleigh." I firmly said to my 4-year-old kid.

I hid my smile when I saw how cute he is while trying to stop his whimpers. I stopped in front of him and kneeled to match his height.

"What did you do wrong, Caleigh Alistair?" I asked him.

Pinagsalubong ko ang kilay ko at bahagyang ngumuso. I want to show him an angry face and it seems like he's intimidated by it.

Nakita ko kung paano mapuno ang pisngi niya ng mga luha at kung paano manginig ang labi niya. When I saw that, I quickly changed my expression and pulled him in for a hug.

"Baby," I wiped his tears and dried his cheeks. "Why is mama mad?" I gently asked him, showing my smile.

Ilang beses pa muna siyang suminghot pagkatapos ay tumingin sa akin.

"B-because Caleigh," he stopped again to wipe his tears. "Caleigh is bad."

His cry got louder, that's why I decided to lift him up.

"Bakit bad si Caleigh?" I asked him again.

"Because I drew on the floor kahit na.." he sniffed. "Kahit na po sabi ni mama no drawing on the floor."

After his explanation, I kissed him on the cheeks and put him down. I fixed his hair while showering him with my kisses.

"So, will my baby do it again?" He immediately shaked his head upon hearing my question.

I smiled widely and opened up my arms. He quickly hugged me and buried his face on my neck.

"Okay, stop crying na baby. Mama's not mad anymore." I said, patting his back to make him calm.

It became a pattern to me. Pag gumagawa ng mali si Caleigh, I will always ask him what he did wrong. It's a way for him to recognize his wrong doing. Once he admits it, I will always give him a reward for being honest and make him promise that he will never do it again.

Alam kong may iba't ibang uri ang mga magulang sa pagdi-disiplina sa kanilang mga anak. I understand and respect it. However, I decided that I will never be the parent who uses violence to discipline my child.

I will never let my child experience the life I had.

"Hmm, shall we go to the mall? Anong gusto ng baby ko?" I faced him and saw that he's calmer now.

"Jabee, mama!" He energetically said.

"Okay, let's go to jabee! But first, need muna maligo. Okay?" He nods and runs inside his room.

Muli kong tinignan ang sahig na dinrawing-an ni Caleigh. Nandoon ang basahan na ginamit niya kanina para burahin 'yon. Hindi niya natapos dahil sa iyak niya kaya't ako na ang magtatapos ngayon.

Five years away from home was hard. Lalo na noong mga unang taon. I remembered how hard it was for me when Caleigh was still in my womb.

I decided to go to my father that time. Tuwang tuwa si daddy noong makita niya ako sa labas ng bahay nila. Sinabi ko sa kaniya ang nangyari at sobrang galit niya kay mommy. He even wanted to have a talk with her but I stopped him.

It was smooth at the beginning but it got hard as time passed by. My father got a new family. Hindi naman masama ang pakikitungo nila sa akin but I can clearly feel it.

I don't have a place in their home.

Pinasukan ko lahat ng trabaho na pwede kong pasukan noon. Kahit na bumubukol na ang tiyan ko, I didn't stop working. Tumigil lang ako noong malapit na akong manganak. Sapat na rin ang naipon ko n'on.