Bitch Pudding Complication

Murder, She Bitched

Cop: He was the bingo caller.

Nurse: B-13.

Cop: A very unlucky number. We're gonna have to bring her. Our investigator has a few questions for you. I must warn you she's a little unorthodox. 

Bitch Pudding: What's up (bleep) nuts!? Damn, I haven't seen this much white hair since Steve Martin sucked Leslie's (bleep)! Allegedly.

Cop: Bitch Pudding, Please!!

Bitch Pudding: You, Raisin (bleep)!

Anne: My name is Annabelle Timulti!

Bitch Pudding: Your name is guilty as a mother(bleep) unless you got an alibi, bar of soap in a sock tits!

Anne: I was here, playing bingo.

Bitch Pudding: One more lie out of that shit nozzle you call a mouth, and I'll leave a boot print in your front butt!!!

Old guy: Leave her alone, you!!

Bitch Pudding: The floor recognizes that (bleep) ass, shit covered (bleep) sucker with a pussy ass cane!!

Old man: Reginald was a good man! Who would want to kill him??

Bitch Pudding: Maybe because he was emptying his bingo balls up your fat ass wife's cigar cutter, you quibbling bowl of pickle dicks.

Old man: What! Why you!!

Bitch Pudding: Gunn!!

[Court Scene]

Judge: You assaulted a ninety four year old man.

Bitch Pudding: He sassed me.

Judge: Bitch Pudding, I make it my business to understand what makes people tick. For example, why would a highly respected actor play not one, but two roles in a low quality tv show. Well, perhaps his brother owns a motorcycle that runs on water-softer pellets, and that actor invested heavily without doing his due diligence.

Bitch Pudding: Uh...

Judge: But your behavior has no explanation. If you don't solve this crime by midnight, I'm throwing you away and locking up the key. And remember my motto: No second takes!!

Cop: Dimmitt B.P. Why did you call me out here in the middle of the night??!!

Bitch Pudding: The bingo ball that killed the victim didn't match the others at the scene! It was made of Polyester Chloride with an antifield flat- lay by this factory, Dipshit. 

Cop: But you don't have a warrant.

Bitch Pudding: Here's my warrant. Like I said here's my warrant.

Cop: Oh, damn. I'm hit.

Bitch Pudding: All those in favor the death penalty, say "Eye". Oh, that's gross.