hurt girl

Chap 3 Audrey Dunne Setters

She feels dirty and violated. A deep soul crushing scream wants to escape her lips but she holds back. She stands in the shower crying... for everything she could've had.. Should've had! She shakes her head, refusing to visit the past again and grabs the Summers Eve douche sitting on the shower's floor to clean the foulness that is left inside of her.

 Everything about him smells including his semen, and she wonders why it's a brownish yellow... Defective, just like the rest of him, she guesses. She prefers to bathe in her Japanese cabuchon deep tub, but always takes a shower after Otto sticks his prick in her so that his cum can drip out of her. And, the smell. Oh the smell.. It is god-awfuI on its own, but add the heat from the steaming water and it's just about the worst odor she's ever encountered. It's a metallic smell with a rancid undertone that she can't identify but she imagines flies are attracted to that smell and will lay there eggs wherever they find that smell. Maggots crawling around inside of her, quite literally eating her alive..it's one of her biggest phobias. After douching she'll use a baby bottle washer and hydrogen peroxide to clean inside of her.

 She makes a mental note not to forget to take the morning after pill. That would be all she needs, another dumb animal to raise. And even better, one that shares Otto Setters DNA! She pushes down hard on her stomach with both hands as if that would be all that's required to terminate conception. The rational side of her knows better, but she does it anyway because it couldn't hurt.

It'll take days before she feels clean again... Physically, that is. Emotionally she'll never feel clean. She's ruined in that respect, and has accepted that she's a soiled woman.. a dirty cunt, if you will... and she laughs at the thought because her cunt hasn't really felt "clean" since she first allowed Otto Setters to touch her.

And just like that...the metaphorical door to her past is opened and she walks through.

She was six months pregnant and miserable...had been the entire pregnancy. Of course she was probably to blame for some of her misery. She had been trying to miscarry ever since she discovered her predicament. She tried taking extra vitamin C, cinnamon, cohosh, and castor oil, just to name a few. She even stuck parsley up her twat because someone told her it would start contractions. Out of desperation she drank a pint of Wild Turkey and had her two best girlfriends punch her repeatedly in the stomach until she started throwing up.. the end result being bruised abs and a massive hangover.

She had abused her pregnant body for the last six months, and still... IT hung on. She imagines a grotesque little monster clinging to the inside of her uterus for dear life and it makes her sick. She hates the life inside of her with every breath she takes... She decides to hide it as long as she can... hopeful that if she does have to give birth to this thing, she can dispose of it somewhere... maybe bury it and no one will be the wiser. She remembers feeling good about this plan... and it would've worked too, had her mother not walked in on her getting undressed one evening.

 Her eyes.... That's what she'll forever remember from that day. They were as big as saucers and cold hatred seeped through them. She shivers at the memory.

"Well, well, well, whadda we got here?" Her mother asks when she's recovered from the shock and disbelief. "Mama, please listen to me." She begs as she covers her shame with her robe. Her mother steps closer and snatches the robe from her, leaving her to stand naked. "Listen to what? She asks rhetorically..."to hows you let some good fer nothin boy hump ya like yous an animal?" She taps her foot on the hardwood floor, pointing her finger at her. "Well, Ain't no use in hidin it." She spats and throws the robe on the floor. She reaches in to the pocket of her apron and pulls out her hand rolled cigarettes and lights one very slowly. Seeing her mother light a cigarette, she immediately backs herself into a corner. Fear ensconces her completely and she pleads with her mother. "Mama, NO! Please don't do it. I have a plan." And she wants to tell her the plan but she forgets what it is and starts stuttering and tripping over words in an effort to diffuse the situation. "No one, I, please, hide, bury, rosebush, Joanna!" Each word uncontrollably flying out of her mouth.. But, it's the last word that stops her mother in her tracks. She stands still, wondering if she even heard what her daughter just said. She cock's her head to the side and takes a long drag from her cigarette before she steps up to her daughter.