Unexpected (Ace Frehley)

therapist

I wake up. I want to go back to sleep. Unfortunatly i can't. I pick up myself from the matras, changing into some normal clothes.

I walk to the kitchen to see Ace eating breakfast. I make myself a bowl. "Are you feeling okay". Obviously not knowing that i'm pregnant. "Yeah". I sit down across from him, noticing him looking at me. Like he can see right thro me and already know it. I try not looking at him scooping the little shels out of the bowl.
You should tell him. No you shouldn't. Yes you should, it's the right thing to do. No, maybe he doesn't want to care for a child. Well maybe it's also his fault. Well maybe he does want to care for the child. Ha, probaply not cause he's twentytwo. "SHUT THE FUCK UP" i drop the spoon back into the bowl. "Uuhh" he looks at me weird and i realise what i did. Just fucking shoot me right now. I  can't help it it's like the two little figures in cartoon movies. One devil and one angel, dancing on your shoulders, altough the devil could possible be the angel and the angel the devil.
He still looks at me and i run off to the bedroom, taking deep breaths. But really do i tell him or not. I don't want to fuck up whatever plans he has for his future. I don't know if he wants a child or not. I don't i know that and it can possibly ruin his life. When will i have to tell him? When i can't deny it anymore. It can wait, right? I'll tell him when i start showing. That will buy me some time to think without any questions. 
Yeah that's it. That's what i'm gonna do. I walk out of the bedroom in need for some fresh air.

I walk thro the streets of New York, looking at the shops thro the windows. I stop to look at a little record shop. Flipping thro some records i find one of Alice Cooper. I walk over to pay for the record when nobody's there. I wait a little while to see a girl about a few years younger as me come over. "I'm sorry i made you wait, it's just all these things you know, sorry". "I understand". I shot her a sympethatic look and payed for the record. "You can keep the change". "Thank you". She says softly. I almostly walk out of the store before i turn around. "You know, sometimes things don't really go as planned, but make sure you do what's right". She looks at me thinking, looking like she's going thro some stuff. I walk out the store to find myself going in Alexa's direction. I really want to tell her but it's already late and i have to go to work and she's off today.

I'm four hours into my shift. It's okay so far but it misses something. A small smile forms on my face when i see the old man walking in. I make a beer about to give it to him, i know he always get's beer. I put it on the table. He looks a bit out of it today. "Thank you darling". He shoots me a sad smile. "It's on the house". I look around for a second. "Do you mind if i sit down?" "Not at all". "So how are you?" "Could have been better, i found my new wife cheating today". He says with glassy eyes. "I'm sorry for you". "Can't change anything about it, how've you been?" Yeah well.. "i just found out i'm pregnant". I say looking at the ground. When he looks up at me with a smile on his face. "That's great, am i the first to know?" I look up at him again. "Yes, how did you know". It's nice seeing someone be happy over something i'm not happy about. "Your nervous". I look down to the ground and up to him again. "That's maybe cause i don't want to be". "Oh honey, why not. Being pregnant is a beatifull thing". He shoots me a smile and takes my hand. "But i'm way to young, i can't care for it". "What does the father think about it?" "You are the really first to know, i haven't told him yet". "Why not, is there something wrong". I sigh "well, he's my roommate and we made a mistake, were not even together and i don't know how to tell him". I'm a terrible person, not for myself but for this child. I'm going to be broke and can't raise it right. It takes me a lot to not break down crying in the bar. "Everything takes it's time, it's up to you if you want to tell him or not". I can't stop it, a couple of tears slide down my face, i quickly wipe them away. "It's okay, it's okay". He says softly. "It will ruin his life, my life and i will ruin it's life because i can't raise it". "Listen to me, you wont but i can give you some advice. Get a real job, make money, you already do but find something to support you when your older too". I nod my head. "Thank you, it is nice to talk to someone about it, you really feel like a friend to me". I smile at him and he returns it. "You will be fine".

It's hard to realise that thing are going to take a turn in life, but he's right i should get a job. I do want to be able to do this right, i only get one change to it. Maybe it isn't that bad after all.