These Stories Are Reasonable

Letters (Short Story)

Dear Gray,

I've never been one for lust. I'd always heard stories from my parents and my friends about love. Though, it never quite made sense to me why, once one had fallen in love, you would want to kiss them. To be close to them. To have sex. In my mind, those things would never happen, it wasn't logical.

It never clicked as to why it was all necessary. 

Until I met you. It was a reality shock, similar to that of falling into cold water unexpectedly. Not long after meeting you I found myself yearning for you.

 Whether it be your touch as you timidly run a hand through my hair, humming as I "sleep". Or holding my hand, after much pestering, as you study. Sometimes sending me the smallest smile seemed as if you were taunting me. Seeing how much you could tease me until I really did kiss you.

I wish I had.

When you worked tirelessly at problems, hours at a time, it made me want to hide your things and hold you. I'm not sure if you'll ever know how much it pains me to watch you recklessly work yourself half to death, over things that don't matter. 

I wonder if you ever felt the same about me. Maybe not so much the reckless part, since I'm not one for causing problems, but what of touching? Sometimes all I want is to feel your skin beneath my fingertips. To embrace you in the tightest hug you'd ever feel.

But I can't even send you a letter!

Isn't it silly, I write this knowing you'll never receive it. Since such a thing is too embarrassing to send. Maybe I keep writing it as a sort of vent, but in a positive way.

Because I love you! 

Love, 

yours truly, the absolute best in the world, Stephen.

...

"Stephen Ahn," Gray smiled, "What an idiot."

It cracked, breaking like a dam as he refolded the unsent letter. Tears began spilling out as Gray buried his face in his pillow. Stephen's mother had handed it to him, right before they'd left, in a giant yellow envelope. Each one was sealed with Gray's name marked clearly on the outside. 

She'd smiled emptily, "I found these, I think they're for you. I didn't opened any of them, I assumed it was private."

Gray thought of it as compensation. I'm not telling you where I'm moving him to, but instead you can have these letters I found hidden in his room.

"What-t an i-diot" He cried, still trying to wear a forced smile. 

I wish I had.

Gray pushed his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

I love you.

Another wave of tears threatened to spill over. Though, he was quickly interrupted by the vibrating of the discarded phone that'd been sitting on the bed next to him. Gray picked it up without thinking.

"So I think that the answer is-" The voice paused as Gray sniffled. "Are you okay?"

"I love you."

"I know, I love you too Gray. Why so sudden?" Stephen asked, concern clearly showing in his voice.

"I just wanted to say it." He admitted, wiping his eyes once more with his sleeve as his other hand reached for his blanket.

"You act like it's the first time you've said so," He halfhearted chuckled, it was almost blatant that it was fake, "Are you at home right now?"

"Yeah, but I'm okay."

"Okay... I love you Gray, alright? I really do, I don't think you know how much, but it's a lot okay?"

"I know," -more than you'd think- "I love you too."

"Get some sleep, alright? I'll come over tomorrow, unless you want me over tonight?"

"It's an hour's drive," Gray laughed, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, goodnight then. Love you."

"Love you too, goodnight."

Click.

Gray looked once more at the letter, silently thanking Stephen for his timing. The paper and faded purple ink dated from over three years ago. Before the incident, before Eunjang, before they'd met again. 

Gray decided that the emotions he'd felt from it, were also from back then. Or maybe a little after. A lot after. Most of the sadness he'd felt, when thinking of Stephen, had dissipated. It wasn't often that the memory of him could make Gray cry, since, it seemed now that he was always within arm's reach.

He slid the letter back into its, undamaged, envelope. Then into his dresser with the others. Gray had already decided that he would never tell Stephen that he'd gotten the letters as a "gift" from his mom. The sunny boy would get so embarrassed. 

He'd blush and eventually hide them. Just like he used to with Gray's textbooks and pencils, the one's that were being studied in advance and not needed for the current curriculum, when his hands would end up blistered due to his excessive studying.

"I love you Stephen Ahn." He spoke to the empty room as he reached to turn off his lamp. "I love you."

There you go, it'd been put into words. Not for the first time, or second, or even the tenth time. Though, somehow it still meant just as much.

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Hey guys. I might update again today, bc I have time. I just have to think of something good. 

If you ever see a story on here, or a prompt, that you think "I could do better" or even "You know what perspective change would make this even more awesome" then do it. If you want to redo one of my stories in your own style or with a different ending or twist then go ahead or just take the idea and go an entirely different direction, do it. I'd love to read it, so comment when it's done so I can! Or not, either way ig.

You don't have to credit me really, because it's your story and there's no such thing as an original thought right? But really I would love to read it.

Love you guys. Stay safe.