Lies & Harmony Trilogy

Chapter Five: Remembrance (Part 1)

Someone is yelling, but I don’t pay attention to the words. I just run, forcing my feet to go step after step. When I was walking, I felt so drained out. My feet hurt, and the setting sun felt like it was draining my energy. Now that the moon is shining down, and the cool wind is wiping against me, I feel refreshed and alive.

     I don’t know where I’m running, but I know that I’m not going to stop any time soon. It’s a wondrous feeling that pumps through me, adrenaline and the feeling of my own prowess at the same time. I feel unstoppable.

     And for that moment, I hate the hospital for not allowing me to be free like this. They only stuck us in our rooms and made us go for walks up and down all the floors on certain occasions if they feel like we’re getting too lazy.

     Why couldn’t they have made a path just outside the hospital for us to run? It would have been better than suffering the arduous walk up the steep steps that always seem to stretch on up for years.

     The doubt that the hospital is all good begins creeping into my mind, and I shake it out, refusing to think so poorly of the place that I grew up in. I can’t turn on it like a heartless child.

     It’s silent around me, and all I can see are shadows that are darker, indicating that there are objects there and that I should not run into them. I don’t even know where I’m going and whether I am getting closer to the hospital or further away. When I think this, some part of me says that I don’t really care about that after all which is silly.

     Of course I want to get back to the hospital.

     Do you?

     The voice is so sudden and intrusive that my steps falter for a second before I realize that I should hurry if I don’t want Tabitha and her gang chasing after me.

     When I run, I keep waiting for the voice to speak again, but it stays silent. It might be part of my imagination along with the visions. Though the visions I have are nearly gone now without the use of the pills.

     Which confuses me.

     If I didn’t need the pills in the first place to hold onto my sanity, why didn’t they just say so? Why was I kept there? If I held on without the use of pills, I would be perfectly normal soon enough. Did the doctors know this or is this because my state of mind has caused this recovery?

     I almost laugh out loud. My mind has told me over and over again that I cannot survive without the pills for the last few days. It wouldn’t be the one that healed me of that. If anything it would be my own natural state that healed me, and the visions were a cause from an external source or the pills.

     I don’t want to consider the latter opinion but my mind screams at me to.

     Instead, I focus on the soothing rhythm of my feet. The pills aren’t in control of it. The doctors and nurses aren’t in control of it. Tabitha isn’t in control of it. It’s my doing. Me. The thought that I can hold even a little bit of power brings me a sense of happiness that I can’t describe. I’ve found something in my life that I can be good at. I’ve finally regained control over something and no matter how insignificant it is I will cherish it.

     Finally, my steps slow on their own, and my breath is coming out in short huffs that cloud the dark air before being whisked away by the gentle breeze. Silence prickles around me, and when I focus my sight, I see a fence in front of me that reminds me of the one that I just walked through in the eleventh sector not so long ago.

     There is a sleepy eyed guard on post by himself, and when I press a small red button beside the gate out of curiosity, the guard lazily opens the gate. He doesn’t ask for my official permission to enter, and he doesn’t look at me either. He just slams the door shut after me and then stumps beside his the fence again, a blue cap drawn over his eyes while he nods off, jerks his head up, and then nods off again.