Do You Trust Me?

Dinner With Mo(nster)ther

Monday, 8:33 PM

Ravine

Iris had told me she was going to have dinner with someone named Sir William this afternoon. 'I wonder if I could ever invite Iris for dinner?' Probably not, but It never hurts to imagine.

It would be outside in the garden where she loves looking at the flowers. Iris sitting perfectly at the table with the most mischief smile. Iris would use her hands to eat her supper because she knew it would anger her father. She could talk about nonsense and I'll hang at every word, for any sound that left her lips could stop my heart with joy. Iris gives off a confidence of knowing what she talks about . Iris by far is the smartest and in fact the kindest person I know. I believe I...enjoy that about her? I am not sure why that would make my face hot. Feelings have always been confusing for me. Mother tells me feeling like these are unacceptable, and shouldn't be shared unless I want to be hurt.

Indeed it would be lovely to have Iris for dinner it would end in blood and screams. If I ever tried to bring anyone for dinner, mother would be more than angry. She would judging, criticize, yell, and throw items to whom ever she believed has threatened her. In every case that I have witnessed with mother, anyone who seems to have any form of closeness to me is a threat.

Then a long lost memory had came to my mind...a memory of why I am alone. when I was twelve; I had met a boy outside, and we quickly became good pals. I would sneak out of the manor, and run to the woods to see him. We would play all kinds of games, he taught me how to swim, and how to handle bugs. I taught him about plants, and how to climb a tree. I started to really like him, so much so that I thought it would have been a good idea to bring him for dinner one evening. I wanted mother to meet him, and so badly to like him as well.

Unfortunately my wish was never came true. Mother kept asking so many questions to the small boy, and soon began to yell at him. The small boy began to cry, and mother started throwing things at him. He ran away from my home, and never returned again. I cried for days till my mother gave me a form talking to. Since that day I would never cry, I would never make a friend, and I would never have dinner with anyone but mother. Mother says if I ever do that again I would be severely punished. I hate getting punished, it hurts so much when I bleed.

....

" Mr. Devol, your mother wants you down for dinner today." Vinny said. " Tell her, I'll be down in a few." I told Vinny. " Yes, sir." Vinny left my room. I looked in the mirror like I did everyday. My eyes look at every little imperfection my mother points out to me. Oh, how right she is I wish I was as beautiful as her. I put my finger tips on my scars, and begin to gag at the disgusting feeling of my face. I put my mask on, and ran out of my room. I hurried down the stairs to meet my mother at the dinner table. " Ahh, son!" My mother hiccuped, she held her wine up with a smile.

"Good evening, mother," I walked up to her, and giving her a masked kiss on her cheek.
" My My son, it seemed like I haven't seen you in years! Where have you've been?" She asked taking another sip of her wine. " I've...been around. I have been talking walks, it's nice to clear my head." I replied back. " Well, that's wonderful dear! I am glad you have something to do." Mother smiled. Oh good, she must be happy about something. " You seem quite happy, did something happened?" " Oh I am so glad you noticed, son! This morning Vinny here was able to find my ring." My mother put her hand out, and showed a Topaz stone with white gold band that curved like roses around stone.

Another memory came to me, it was one of my grandmother before she had passed. She had taken my hand, and walked me to my fathers death bed. The Topaz ring sitting comfortably on her ring finger. Grandmother never liked mother, after fathers death they would get into fights about nothing. Once mother had hit me so hard that I had fallen onto the ground, but my grandmother was having none of it and slapped mother. The ring piercing her skin, and causing it to bleed.

My grandmother had picked me up in her arms, and took me to the kitchen. She sat me down on a chair, and wiped my face with a piece of cloth. "Now you listen to me, you promise me you'll never forget these words." I nodded my head, and she whispered a few words to me. Soon after she cupped my face, and gave it a kiss. My grandmother was my haven, but sadly she had died no year later. My memory of her had suddenly vanished like her beautiful Topaz ring.

" Son...son...Ravine!" My mother yelled. "Yes! I am sorry, I must have dosed off," I straighted myself out. " My goodness boy, you had me scared. Don't do that ever again." She placed a hand on her heart, and gave a big laugh. " Yes, I apologize." " Well, good. Anywhooo, I believe Vinny deserve a wonderful gift." My mother sneezed Vinny's forearm. He was rather uncomfortable, and seemed ready to gag from the touch. " W-what kind of gift, mother?" I started over my words, as I began to shake my leg. " Well, don't you think Vinny deserve something real special?" My mother grind. " Well yes, I think Vinny would love a day to himself." I nodded agreeing with myself.

" Oh Ravine, You know Vinny needs something more than that." My mother sat up from her sit. " I- I'm not sure what you have in mind, mother." I nervously sip my water. " Oh you know exactly what I am talking about, Ravine." My mother took Vinny's wrist and dragged him with her. " How about we finish eating, I haven't eaten in while." I slowly put the food in my mouth. " Ravine, come one now." Mother grabbed my arm. " Please not today, maybe we should ask Vinny what he'll like." I looked up at Vinny who was more than unconformable.

" I think I would love to have a say on what I get-..." Vinny was cut off. " Are you both disobeying me!" My mother yelled as she smacked the table. " No of course not, my lady." " Oh, you shut up." She slapped Vinny leaving a large mark. " Oh, now look at what you've done." Mother yelled at me. " I'm sorry, please." I begged starting to cry sitting on the floor. " Now look what you've done, ruining Vinny's gift. You are so selfish!" She continued to yell. " What are you going to do to fix it!?" I stayed silent, putting my head down. " Tell me, how in the hell are you going to fix it, Ravine?" She smacked me. "please ." I cried. " Please what?" My mother got down on her knees. " Please, I am sorry." I clinged to my mother.

" Don't tell me sorry, tell him!" She grabbed me by my hair and pushed my face to Vinny. "How are you going to apologize to him?" Pulled my hair making me look up at Vinny. "Do you enjoy getting yelled at, Ravine?" She whispered to me.

" Nooo." I cried out closing my eyes. I was in so much pain, I felt like my body was going to shut down. " YOU LIAR!" She began to throw my mask across the room, before messing with Vinny clothes. I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't breath. "I said STOP!" I yelled for the first time in who knows how long. " Please!" My mother let go of my hair and I feel to the ground. " Please, just stop...I don't want to do it." I continued to beg.

My mother sat up, and starting to laugh," Oh Ravine, you take things too seriously. You should have said so from the start. My God, you are dramatic." She laughed more, and began to drunkenly walk back to her room. I was in complete shock...how could she laugh at my pain. My heart broke in more ways than one. I stayed on the floor crying, and Vinny had wrapped his arms around me. He tried to sooth me, but he was as troubled as I was.

There was only one person who could make any of these deep feelings of horror and saddest disappear. There was only one who has a feeling of something new.