Burnt Rose

Prologue

Ishan

After coming back from the office I had my dinner with Aanya, Nandni and Rohan. And later three of them planned to go out for ice-cream. Actually they wanted nandni to go outside. After Manik left, she hardly talk or smile. I know she needs some time to adjust for this situation. I gave the permission and sent our two security guards with them also. Ellie auntie came into back yard to give me the glass of water and after cleaning the kitchen she went into her quarters to have some rest.

I was enjoying the soft evening breeze when from the corner of my eye I saw some one coming towards me. When I turned my head in the direction of unexpected person,  I became little surprised to see Riya. I could feel some spark into her eyes when she locked her gaze with mine. She wasn't looking as dull and sad as I always saw her.

"I came here to see Nandni. Actually she called me to come here to complete an assignment.....!" she whispered hesitantly while holding a book and file-holder against her chest.

"Are you sure she made that plan because just few minutes ago they all went for some outing...!" I told her and deep frowns appeared over her features. Now she was looking confused about what to do.

"Any ways you can wait inside if you want to....!" showing some manners I offered and nodding her head she went inside. As she passed by me her scent prickled my senses. Why she always smells like her and that single thought made me so agitated. That familiar scent, lavender mixed with vanilla reminded me of someone who was so dear to my heart. My Mishka. Suddenly I felt my throat dry and chest tight with familiar agony. I took few sip of my water and threw my head back over the headrest of chair. Memories of two months ago came rushing back into my mind.

Everything had been settled for my internship into one farthest city until the day Riya came into my house. That day also Nandni, Aanya and Rohan had gone for some shopping, leaving me alone behind. She entered into living room and I still remember how she became shocked after seeing me there. Sitting over sofa I was reading few documents related to my internship.

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Flash back

"Where is nandni and Aanya...?" she asked me lowly, like usual she was looking nervous.

"They aren't home....!" I replied simply while slightly looking up towards her. I expected her to leave but to my surprise she walked further inside. Just few steps away she stopped at front of me. Only coffee table between us was stopping her to reach me.

"I...I want to request something...!" her words were unsteady and fingers fiddling with each other cause of the uncertainty. I nodded my head and placing documents over the coffee table shifted my full concentration towards her.

"it's just, I...I wanted to say that don't go so far. Please can't you do your internship into the branch in this city....!" I don't know from where she took this much courage but it really shocked me. For next few seconds my eyes remained locked with hers. Keeping smallest hope into her deep eyes, she was looking at me to say something.

"Already everything have been settled and in few days I'm leaving....!" I informed her seriously and saw it in her eyes that she was struggling with her emotions. I could see she was scared and it won't be a lie if I say, so much torment into her eyes made me scared as well.

How I could ignore that devastation, when since years I'm feeling the same longing, same pain. Pain of loosing your love, pain of not seeing each other ever again. Pain of not having the person you love into your life. I'm very much familiar with that affliction.

"Riya you are very nice girl. You are educated, beautiful and intelligent. I respect your feelings. But I wont let you ruin your life behind a person like me....!" My gruff whisper laced with harsh words. I needed her to see how desperately honest I was trying to be.

"I tried, I severe I tried but I can't...!" she shook her head, her voice so broken so helpless.

"It's not the answer I expected from you....!" this time I almost shouted to make her flinch. It was the first time I raised my voice at any girl.

"Riya I don't want all this into your life. Why you don't understand that I loved Mishka, I still do. I want you to get all the best things that life could offer. And it includes a loving and caring life partner as well...!" I said angrily and now I could see into her deep eyes, fear mixing with hurt. May be she wasn't expecting that I could loose my temper like this.

"But you are the best thing in my life, I wont be happy with anyone else. I...I can't....!" her voice trembling but still she was trying her best to hold together. She was strong beyond my expectations.

"No I'm not worth it. I'm not the best person but someday there will be one who will give you unconditional love and every happiness you deserve....!" I scoffed.

"I will always respect your feelings for her, I will never wish to replace her into your heart. I just want to make some space into your life.....!" at each word her voice cracked and it made me more angry. She was hurting herself and that too for a soulless person like me. Who's every feeling that day died with Mishka.

"Enough...!" I shouted, abruptly standing over my feet.

"Go back to your hostel. And try not to come at front of me. When nandni will be back I will inform her....!" I tried to keep my voice low but still irritation was very much visible.

My words will hurt her today but she will be safe from the endless pain for the rest of her life.

"You can't do this. You can't...!" She shook her head slowly, tears trickled down her face. See just few minutes with me and already I couldn't giver her anything except tears.

Taking two steps backwards, she turned over her heels and ran away. I could clearly listen Nandni's voice outside as she tried to stop Riya but I'm sure she won't stop now. With perplexed expressions Nandni entered into living room. Aanya and Rohan following her with similar disappointment. Feeling embarrassed and frustrated as well I went straight towards my room. I didn't have any courage to face their questioning glares.

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Present

I shook my head to pull myself out of those odd memories. Obeying my harsh orders after that she never showed me her face. May be she didn't know that I was very much aware, how every time sensing my presence she ran away to hid from me. Her familiar scent into corridors of my house always made sure to tell me that she was there just few seconds ago.

I don't know why at the end I decided to transfer my internship here. May be I couldn't dare to hurt her feelings. I still remember how everyone didn't feel hesitate to tell me about her down fall. How she was loosing life from her beautiful eyes. How I was pushing her into deep darkness, the same way Mishka pushed me. How I was trying to snatch her right to feel love, the same way fate snatched mine.

She's so naive, so pure. I couldn't hurt her. But sometimes I regret my decision because by doing all this I have given her some hope. Its wrong, completely wrong. I can't accept her into my life. I can't love her. I simply can't.

I stayed to show her that how empty and shallow soul I have. I hope one day she will learn to hate me enough to move on into her life. And I will stay here to help her to chase her happiness and I will make sure her to feel that, her happiness is not with me at all. Placing the glass of water back at the table, I stood up and went inside.