𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤

Way Back Home

I'm driving my car. On the way to drop Kao back to his condo as usual after we had a "couple" event. Kao and I also just finished eating at the restaurant near the venue with P'Just and the team. The sound of the song is slowly reverberating...

"𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾

𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮

𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓾𝓼𝓮

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓸𝓸𝓷

𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓷' 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾"

"Sam Ock?" Kao muttered.

"Yeah, you know this song? I put it on my Spotify playlist. Very chill and easy going to listen to. It's a duet with a singer named Michelle." I replied with a slightly surprised tone at the beginning knowing Kao knew this song.

.....

No answer. Sometimes it's like this. I feel like I'm babbling alone awkwardly like it's just a clear and painfully obvious repertoire. But I got used to it because sometimes Kao can be a very talkative person too.

"You're driving very slowly, khun," said Kao breaking the silence.

"Hmmm," I answered without much enthusiasm. Kao actually looked a bit strange today. It's been a long time since we last met because we are both busy with our respective jobs. He seemed to have something he wanted to say, as if he was nervous about something.

Minutes passed and this car already parked in front of Kao's condo. While I was driving it crossed my mind that I wanted to be with Kao longer. But more than that, the man next to me looks tired. I looked at my watch and it shows 22:09.

"See you later PHI Kao!" I said it to tease him.

"Hoo, Phi? usually you only call me khun when it's just the two of us", said Kao with a grin as he prepared to get out of the car.

Ah.. I miss him so much. I want to be with him longer. I think I've been driving slower than usual because of that. Yes indeed. I love him. Around the beginning of 2022 that feeling was very clear to me. An incoming faster heartbeat whenever he acts like he cares about me, as simple as when he says "be careful" to me while walking up the stairs. I'm the one who's pounding all the time around him. I don't know what Kao is thinking. He's very difficult to read compared to me who is like an open book. Does he know how I feel? Can time stop right now? If you're by my side, that's enough. Ah. When my mind was distracted with many thoughts, Kao is already outside of my car.

I took off my transparent glasses to clean them a little with a spectacle rag in the car drawer, getting ready to start my journey home.

"KNOCK! KNOCK!", I turned to the right to see who knocks on the car window.

"What's wrong Kao? left something?", I talk to him as soon as I rolled down my car window.

"Yes," said Kao.

I tried to glance at the passenger seat and nothing seemed to be left behind so I looked back at Kao and asked, "What's left? I don't see anything".

"It's you. You are left behind," he answered.

"Huh?"

Has he gone mad? Is this what he wanted to say after all day? he said that with his goddess handsome face close to mine. We were only blocked by a half-open car window. Please don't look at me blushing. What should I say. I'm just stunned.

"Can you come down? I want to be with you a little longer", said Kao who had messed up my heartbeat right at this time. I closed the car window, put my glasses on the dashboard, turned off the engine and got out of the car. "You, what are you thinking?! why do you want to be with me longer? It's just as if you have feelings for me or something. Please don't say things that could make people misunderstand!". I said that firmly looking into his eyes. As if I was angry. Why does it sound like this? I thought. I'm just frustrated because I love him so much and almost crazy about his behavior that always makes me misunderstood. I don't want to be toyed with.

"What if it wasn't a misunderstanding? I wouldn't say something like this to just anyone", Kao put his right hand on my cheek. The touch of that hand made me angry.

"Stop joking!" I snapped, pushing his hand away. Kao showed an awkward expression. He again reached his hand toward my face, this time with both hands. His hand felt warm. My cheek was touched again by him. He brought his face closer to mine.

"I'm not joking. Can't you feel it? Actually I want to kiss your lips right now. But of course, I ask your permission first.", Kao said that without taking his eyes off me. His hands gripped my face, caressing it gently.

He must be out of his mind, I thought. Permission? f*ck permission. I grabbed his face with both hands and brought his lips to mine. 

It touches. As if our morale was lost, we kissed in front of Kao's condo like there was no tomorrow. I've wanted this man for a long time. I licked Kao's lips once. Will he be surprised? I'm crazy. You started it Kao. Then he boldly stuck his tongue out at me, licking my lips back. The fresh taste of the S*bucks coffee that I drank earlier in the car danced between our tongues.

"Hahh...", Kao stopped the kiss and pulled me into his condo. The moment I set foot in Kao's condo, reality hit me.

Kao held my hand. I suddenly fell ill, the person holding my hand seems to realized it from the look on my face. I'm really sick, very hot. His fingers holding mine suddenly pulled my fingers tightly, dragging my body to a cooler place, his bedroom. The pain stopped. It turned out that it wasn't the heat that I felt, but the pain of thinking about how difficult the path we had chosen would be. I'm an over thinker. You know that. He then made me sit on his bed and I just kept frowning.

"I'm glad you accepted me. Please don't make a face like that. I'm sorry that I didn't dare to return the feeling you had earlier. I also thought about many things because this is the first time for me to feel this way for a man", said Kao who sat next to me and still holding my hand. Turns out he knew how I felt. I did make it quite clear but it's quite embarrassing to hear such sentences coming out of his mouth.

"The feeling I have? You are so overly confident khun Kao Noppakao. Of course this is also a first for me! You and I... boys. I'm not putting on a face like this because I'm disappointed with your long reply. Or what society would think of the relationship between men. I'm just worried you'll get hurt in the future. So I don't dare to express it", I almost cried saying it. I continued, "But if you push me like that earlier, I can't hold back my own feelings".

Kao just smiled at me. "Hurt? Not a chance. As long as I have you beside me, I won't be afraid of anything. Right now it's just between you and me. I don't care about gender either. It's not about gender. It's about you. You're like an angel who came into my life at the right time."

"5555! Angel?! please stop!", I laughed out loud covering my embarrassed face. This should have been a serious moment but this man sure chose an unique words. "You know what? I almost cried. Now I'm laughing like this", I said.

"Finally you laugh", Kao smiled. His hand held my face again. This time near my neck. Even though the room is very cold because Kao turns on the air conditioner at 16 degrees Celsius, his hands are still warm to me. The part of my body that come in contact with Kao felt hot. He kissed me again.

"You're pretty good at this", I said it to breaking our lips that met non-stop to catch my breath.

"No need to flatter me. Take a deep breath this time because...

...I'm not done with you yet."

Kao smirked, then pushed me down onto his pillow.