Wild Bastard

29

Matthew passed out almost instantly. I guess I was saved from the fate of a full night of sex by the fact that yesterday I was still a virgin. It was doubtful that this beast would let me out of his clutches before dawn.

I smile stupidly, contemplating the relaxed features of the guy's face in the darkness. He looks like a resting wolf.

He really is wild. I could only imagine what this night would have been like if I'd been prepared for his appetite.

I roll onto my other side and stare at the dark wall. It's a good idea to get back to my bedroom. I don't want Lana to find me here in the morning. I'll lie down some more and then I'll go. A strong desire for this night to never end is literally in the air. I'll definitely talk to the girl. I have no idea how my weakness will turn out and what to expect from the next day, but I will not be able to lie to her face. I've been acting so wrong toward her the last few days.

Now when I understand Matthew and the reasons for his behavior with his sister, I look at the situation from a different side. Perhaps I can somehow bring the two of them closer together. Of course it's not easy, and Matthew has to admit his motives to himself first, but at least I can explain to Lana that he's not the jerk he seems to be. I have no idea how she will react to my heartfelt confession, and I think that's the reason why I can't sleep right now. A worm of doubt gnaws at me. She might not accept the fact that I was just another whore spreading my legs in front of her hated brother. She might think anything. That's probably how it looks from the side.

I really couldn't find the strength to resist anymore. And I didn't want to look for it. It wasn't that he'd done something for me. It was more about the fact that it made me realize who Matt was really like.

I clench my legs, remembering his cheeky caresses, his big cock, and most importantly, the look full of covert concern. He really didn't want to hurt me, and, as it turned out, it was at that moment that I surrendered more than physically.

God, this is so silly. Am I lying here thinking about the guy? Like a fool, I remember his every word, and my skin still burns with the echoes of our crazy lovemaking in bed. There is an unusual warmth in my chest that makes my heart pound more frequently.

I don't know how long I've been brainstorming, but the sun has already cast its morning light on the wall across the street. I start to fall asleep when the phone on the nightstand pulls me out of my slumber with a rough vibration.

I lift my head. Who would be calling at this hour?

The three letters on Matt's smartphone screen makes me stiffen up. "Mia"

A movement behind me hints that the guy is awake. I lay my head on the bed and cover my eyes. Why? I don't understand yet, but it's probably a stupid desire to figure out what he's going to do.

Matthew cautiously bends over me, curses quietly, and takes the phone. Gets up to go to the bathroom.

He closes the door, but I can still hear every word.

"Of course, I recognize you. Miss me?" The relaxed voice with a slight mocking intonation makes it clear that this Mia is clearly no stranger to him. "Who would have doubted it. Come tomorrow and show me how you missed me!"

At the last words, my body stiffens, and my heart starts pounding furiously in my chest. I want to jump up and punch him in the face so hard that I have to bite my teeth into my cheek with such force that tears come to my eyes. But I keep pretending to sleep while the bastard goes back to bed and lies back down. If Lana wasn't sleeping two bedrooms away, I'd smash the lamp over his head. Right now I am not ready to deal with her.

The mattress sags under the heavy weight. I can't move. I feel like the biggest idiot alive. The naive fool I'd never been. I've always been able to set boundaries, to see lies and hypocrisy. I could tell a man's mind at a moment's notice. And now I'm so wrong as hell.

I had convinced myself that a bastard was not a bastard at all. I fell for a guy's trick, and now I'm getting out of it.

Well done, Reenah, bravo.

I wait for the breathing behind me to become steady, get out of bed quietly, and, without even looking back, head for my room. I pack my bag, leaving Lana's things in the closet. I don't deserve them. The girl was so right. And I'm an idiot who was trying to make them closer. I turn to the mirror and hastily tie my ponytail. I freeze when I notice the tears coming out of my eyes.

I hadn't cried in so many years. I shielded myself from emotion, and now, because of this bastard, I feel that disgusting feeling again. A crappy feeling of uselessness and weakness.

I clench my teeth tightly and rub the hateful moisture on my cheeks with anger.

I hate him! There's a painful pressure in my chest, but I try to ignore the feeling.

I grab my bag, look around quickly to make sure I haven't forgotten anything, and walk noiselessly down the stairs and out of the house. I walk to the nearest bus stop without turning around. The sun had just risen over the horizon, promising a new day, and it seemed to me that its light had gone out.

I squat exhaustedly in the middle of the road, wrapping my arms around my head. It's hard to breathe. There is a huge lump in my throat, but I swallow it over and over again. Don't you dare to cry! Don't you dare, Reenah! That asshole doesn't deserve it!

You knew from the beginning that this would happen. People like Matthew don't miraculously change. Today me, tomorrow another girl, the day after tomorrow a third one. I should have realized that a long time ago. Turns out I haven't lost the ability to believe in fairy tales either. Do I regret what I did? No. I never regret my actions. They help me gain experience and become stronger. For some reason, the pain of another fall is particularly sharp today.

I pull the air into my lungs tornly, trying to expel the smiling image of the bastard from my mind. It seems like I have his smell all over me, because it literally tingles all over my skin, making me tortured. I squint, frantically wiping away the damn tears, and straighten with a jerk.

For a second I wonder where to go now. I haven't found an apartment yet. I don't feel like going to a bar. I need space to get my feelings back to normal. There's only one option left. My friends, who I moved out of months ago.

I dial Vikky. After a few rings, my friend sleepily grumbles:

"Reenah? Are you crazy to call so early?"

"Vikky, I'm coming back!"